88 Minutes

Al Pacino stinks up the entire production of a film with such little story that 88 minutes is just ridiculous fluff. With tons of bad hair, sexual assault, disappearing actors, quite dubious motivations, non-linear time, drunk actors, and questionable filler material. It's pretty bonkers.

Lets start with Al Pacino. He stinks. I'm sorry world, Pacino stinks. He's great. We love him. He's hilarious. But he's not exactly Lawrence Olivier. And this film is a highlight of how bad he is. His hair is outlandish. His skin changes shades of orange and he's just as confused with the film as we are. Great fun, great fun. Except for Alicia Witt, she gets sexually assaulted maybe more than any actress ever by an A-Lister....

Then there's the surrounding players. The world won't be too surprised but Leelee Sobieski stinks. She's always stinky though. Seriously, name a good movie she's ever been in. She's a pariah on film. Fantastic crappy performance here. There's a dean who is quite drunk. Billy Forsythe is exactly what you expect from him. All makes for fun.

The plot is so bland but is barely noticeable because its surrounded by sequence after sequence of banana business. Take for instance, Campus Security. At one point, Al Pacino and Alicia Witt go to Campus Security...whose office rivals Quantico. I believe Dexter interned there. Fox Mulder has an office in the basement. At no time in the history of the world has Campus Security ever looked like this.

While its no Dreamcatcher or The Wicker Man, it is a great ride through terrible acting and bad directorial decisions. It's just a little weak on plot, whether good or bad plot, it doesn't have enough of either. Still....great watch.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:
Cheesy effects:
Horrendous acting:
Laugh-out-loud-ability:
Ridiculous stunts:
Gratuitous nudity:
Memorable one-liners:
Riffability:

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality:
Bad Movie Quality: