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51st State

51st-state
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Samuel L and Robert Carlyle team up in this drug/money caper/heist that looks like a Ritchie/Boyle knock-off/bandwagon romp/joint. We'll be leaving/running away now.

Uh......it sucks. I would love to say that this is an undiscovered gem that the critics harpooned because it was ahead of its time (much in the same manner as they treated Snatch) and that this will become your new favorite movie. I can't say that. The critics got it right. Its vapid, cloney and drivel.

Look, I can't fault anyone here though. I watched Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch back to back in college and thought that I was Bullet-Tooth Tony for about 2 years. I got hit in the face a lot and deserved most of it. So when you see a script that is a British crime caper in 2000, I really can't fault you for wanting to be involved. And everyone involved goes all in on this. I can't pick on anyone. Its just the fault of wanting to do a film like this and having no business doing such a film. Its just the nature of art. I mean, I'm sure there was a lot of Samuel L's seeing The Mona Lisa and saying "I want to do that". Maybe that's why Caravaggio was thrown out of his guild. (Oh that was for murder? Oh...well)

I want to tell you that you're gonna find something worth watching here, even with low expectations, but I just don't think you will. Skip!

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:4-star
Cheesy effects:0-star
Horrendous acting:3-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:2-star
Ridiculous stunts:2-star
Gratuitous nudity:1-star
Memorable one-liners:2-star
Nonsensical Plot:3-star

Riffability:3-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 4-star
Bad Movie Quality:5-star

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Tuesday, 28 June 2022

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