Prelude to Seven

Before Malibu Express, Andy Sidaris directed a film called Seven. It's quite hard to find and rarely seen and has been on our list for ages. It stars William Smith and is about seven operators taking on seven villains in Hawaii. Buckle up for the ride!

This episode we have no streaming do's and don'ts but we instead discuss the Top Ten Stinker Staples. Be sure to read the whole list.

• 10. Sobriety superpowers
• 9. Better take our shirts off
• 8. Not understanding how phones work
• 7. The bad guy is bad....because.
• 6. The lifeless dummy
• 5. Unlimited ammo
• 4. Freezeframe, credits
• 3. Truckin'
• 2. Leaving by unopened window
• 1. The Exploding Helicopter

Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor

•  Jordan Tate - Under Siege (Erika Eleniak)
•  Barb Wire - Barb Wire (Pam Anderson)
• Jill Munroe - Charlie's Angels (Farrah Fawcett)

About Seven - Movie Information

Sam's Boring Bullshit

Beyond Stinker Madness legend Andy Sidaris, who provided the story outline, produced and directed this film, the other producer is one Melvin Simon. Simon would be most remembered for bringing us the great joy that is Porky’s. Other production highlights for Simon include my personal favorites, Zorro the Gay Blade starring George Hamilton and The Stunt Man starring Steve Railsback, who you will remember from Lifeforce and who you should remember for Turkey Shoot, or the American title; Escape 2000. The Stunt Man also features Barbara Hershey and Peter O’Toole. It is one of my most recommended films.

The film stars William Smith. With 273 acting credits to his name people should call the fresh prince the other Will Smith. Because he IS the other William Smith. You have seen him a hundred times but when I say he played Conan’s dad in the Millius helmed Shwaz epic, you will say to yourself; “oh yeah, that guy” and then you may remember how much ass he kicked in all those fucking biker moves or Invasion of the Bee Girls. Hell, he even did an episode of the Adam West Batman. Smith started acting at the age of eight. He was the final Marlboro Man to be seen on TV. Smith won the 200 pound class world arm wrestling championship numerous times and also won the US Air Force weightlifting championship. He boasted a 31-1 record as an amateur boxer and also played semi pro football in Germany and also competed in motocross and downhill skiing. If you are the toughest dude ever, you would be lucky to suck this guy’s dick. All that and brains too??? Smith has a master’s degree in Russian Studies from UCLA. A degree he used to hold both CIA and NSA clearance during the Korean War, when he was, you know, doing secret missions. In terms of his acting career, that thing he did most the time, he has been called the greatest villain actor of all time. I will not argue, I will agree, for God sakes he shot and raped Miss Kitty in fucking Gunsmoke. To go back to his body building, his arms measured 18 ½ inches and he held the record for reverse curling his own body weight. There is a rumor that seeing William Smith in a magazine got one Arnold Schwarzenegger to start body building.

Keep an eye out for:  Martin Kove, who you may mistake for Charles Napier, Barbara Leigh and Art Metrano, who likes hand grenades in Malibu Express.