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Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode

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We take a look into the future where Mick Jagger gets to be an action star, no one ages, and that fava-beans and chianti guy gets paid his day rate. Emilio Estevez stars as Alex Furlong, a race car driver that gets exploded into the future so that he can get "bone-jacked" for a rich man's immortality....we think. The future doesn't make a whole lot of sense to us humble 2014 people.

Emilio and Jagger are really quite bad actors in this film. They both are terrible but in completely opposite ways. Jagger is thoroughly wooden and puts little to no effort into his role. While Estevez does his best Jim Carrey and overacts each scene. He's like that desperate person at the end of the bar at midnight that tries way too hard to be your friend. This duo play enemies so the opposing acting makes up for some fun unintentional comedic chemistry.

There's some pretty weird things in the future as well. Everybody shoots at each other yet cities seem to be fairly pleasant aside from the flying bullets. Time and space do not have properties in people's dwellings as most apartments in the film have secret rooms and doors that can't physically exist in the building space, at least in the world that we understand. Toss in Alex and Julie Redlund's (played by Rene Russo) relationship with their literal on-screen butt kissing and quite unrealistic dialogue, you've got a story world that involves a lot of head scratching for the viewer.

All in all, Freejack is a movie that makes little sense, with the majority of the story being cut from the book as unimportant. Well for bad movie lovers this is a good thing because there's very little wasted time on things like plot or character development. Just action, crazy dialogue, vague villainy, a physically impossible world, and a cinematic sequence of events that all lead up to one heck of a good time.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:3-star
Cheesy effects:3-star
Horrendous acting:3-star
Ridiculous stunts:3-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:3-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 4-star
Bad Movie Quality:7-star

Prelude to Teen Witch
Prelude to Freejack

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Saturday, 24 February 2024

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