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Flash Gordon

Flash Gordon
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Let the war for Planet Mongo begin! Its the QB of the New York Jets vs. Max Van Sydow's evil eyebrows, endless robots (are they robots?) and people that bleed oil. This is one bad movie...that rules.

Sam J. Jones from Playgirl and The Dating Game fame takes on the complex and emotionally challenging role of Flash Gordon, a guy who gains super fighting skills when holding things somewhat shaped like footballs. When the evil guy from Planet Mongo makes the weather of the world gets pretty messed up and natural disasters happen such as "Volcano, Volcano Eruption and Hot Hail", Flash Gordon must fall asleep on space rocket, fall in love by holding hands, and then wander around a few planet/moons/asteroids until he can unite the tribes of Mongo in order to stop Emperor Ming.

This film is really really really bad. It's fun, I'll disclaim, but it truly is a giant train wreck. It's made on the scale of a Cecil B. DeMille movie but looks about as good as a Roger Corman film. It's ridiculous. The set pieces are giant, the costumes are lavish and the visual effects are outlandish. But each piece is super super super dumb.

The story is truly stupid. Ming's motivations are pretty vague. We guess he wants to destroy the world because the citizens of Earth knows who he is. So Flash falls asleep on a rocket that ends up on Ming's homeworld. Ming doesn't like him because he's handsome or maybe it's because he's incredibly stupid and a bit of a dick. Flash must unite some planets of guys that don't make sense to take down Ming and his empire that doesn't make sense.

This movie is required viewing not only because it has such a cult following, but its fun throughout and super riffable. In order to be a bad movie fan, you must watch this, otherwise you blow ass I guess. We recommend this one for viewing enjoyment especially if you're Jackie and really really like Queen and costumes.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:3-star
Cheesy effects:4-star
Horrendous acting:4-star
Ridiculous stunts:2-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:3-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:7-star

Prelude to Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
Prelude to Flash Gordon

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Monday, 26 February 2024

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