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2015 SMABFA Awards

2015 SMABFA long

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The hottest awards for bad films in 2015 are here and the winners are all set. Listen to the 2015 SMABFA Podcast and check out all the nominees and winners below.

And the Nominees  & Winners are (winner in bold):

Best Bad Movie - The Most Enjoyable Bad Movie

  • Paul Blart Mall Cop 2
  • The Transporter Refueled
  • Furious 7
  • Jupiter Ascending
  • The Last Witch Hunter

Worst Bad Movie - The Least Enjoyable Bad Movie

  • Hot Pursuit
  • Mortdecai
  • Aloha
  • Fantastic Four
  • The Gallows

Best Bad Actor - Most Enjoyable Performance by a Male Actor

  • Ray Stevenson - Transporter Refueled
  • Eddie Redmayne - Jupiter Ascending
  • Paul Bettany - Mortdecai
  • Rupert Friend - Hitman: Agent 47
  • Jason Statham - Furious 7
  • Paul Walker - Furious 7

Best Bad Actress - Most Enjoyable Performance by a Female Actor

  • Emma Stone - Aloha
  • Dakota Johnson - 50 Shades
  • Julianne Moore - Seventh Son
  • Rose Leslie - Last Witch Hunter
  • Juliette Lewis - Jem and the Holograms

MST3K Most Riffable - The easiest and most fun to make fun of film while viewing

  • Jupiter Ascending
  • 50 Shades of Grey
  • Last Witch Hunter
  • Point Break
  • Seventh Son

New SMABFA Categories:

Worst Bad Actor - Least Enjoyable Performance by a Male Actor

  • Johnny Depp - Mortdecai
  • Eddie Redmayne - Jupiter Ascending
  • Edgar Ramirez - Point Break
  • Jeff Bridges - Seventh Son
  • Ryan Shoos - The Gallows

Worst Bad Actress - Least Enjoyable Performance by a Female Actor

  • Teresa Palmer - Point Break
  • Sofia Vergara - Hot Pursuit
  • Kate Mara - Fantastic Four
  • Reese Witherspoon - Hot Pursuit
  • Julianne Moore - Seventh Son

Least Funny Comedy - The "Comedy" movie that is the least humorous

  • Hot Pursuit
  • Pixels
  • Paul Blart Mall Cop 2
  • Mortdecai

Eligible Films for 2015:

  • No Escape
  • Point Break
  • Aloha 
  • Hot Pursuit
  • Mortdecai
  • Pixels
  • The Gallows 
  • Taken 3
  • Fantastic Four 
  • Seventh Son
  • Jupiter Ascending 
  • Hitman: Agent 47
  • The Transporter Refueled
  • Jem and the Holograms
  • The Last Witch Hunter
  • Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 
  • 50 Shades of Grey
  • Furious 7

The SMABFA awards will be listed on this page and presented on the Stinker Madness podcast as a special episode released on February 15th, 2016 at approximately 10AM MST. Make sure to tune into the Stinker Madness Podcast and listen to the SMABFA Awards Show.

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Jem and the Holograms

Jem and the Holograms
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In October of 2015, Jem and the Holograms was released into US theaters with much fanfare, and by fanfare I mean people asking "They remade Jem? Well that was dumb..." and then one week later it was nowhere to be found, instantly making it a SMABFA contender. Whose idea was this anyways?

Jem is a moral tale for females of the Millenial generation. So think of the most annoying thing in the world. Correct, its a teenage girl from that generation. So that's not good. However, the moral really is a good one; that girls shouldn't be who society dictates they should be, they should be themselves and revel in their own strengths and weaknesses. It's a great moral and we at Stinker Madness fully support it.

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Prelude to Jem and the Holograms

Prelude to Jem and the Holograms
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This week we finish off the last of our 2015 SMABFA contenders with the remake of Jackie's favorite 80's band of cartoon ladies. Could Jem and the Holograms preserve the cheese of the original cartoon or will they try to modernize it, making it completely boring?

Jackie's Movie Call Cast List

What animal do you bring to a open call casting so that the producer chooses you. What?!?!

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Starship Troopers

Starship Troopers
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Paul Verhoeven had a vision for a caricature of a Fascist future society and totally nails it in the guise of a silly space battle movie. Toss in a 3 way love story with incredibly strong and easy to care for characters, exceptional acting and you've got one of hell of a good movie.

Why then is this movie on Stinker Madness? Well because in 1997 the critics and Sam and Justin made a single mistake; they didn't get this movie. The world wasn't ready for Starship Troopers. We were expecting a film adaptation of the Robert Heinlein science fiction novel of the same title. We weren't expecting a high school football game with backflips. We weren't expecting children smashing beetles and mothers laughing maniacally at it. We weren't expecting Robocop and Total Recall with a serious story and moral statement. So it was panned by critics. Thus making it a "bad movie". But it truly is a masterpiece in pop culture.

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Prelude to Starship Troopers

Prelude to Starship Troopers
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With this episode of the famed Stinker Madness Podcast we prepare for 1997's Starship Troopers from master of stuff, Paul Verhoeven. Despite having a solid IMDB user rating, the critics panned it. Does Johnny Rico get better with age? Can Denise Richards be more than just walking boobs? IS the only good bug a dead bug?

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

Pop Quiz, Hot Shot? - How do they do drugs in film?

  • Sniffing cocaine - powdered lactose
  • Heroin cooking - sugar & baking soda
  • Smoking weed - Wizard Weed - weed with no THC. Same things cops use when they go undercover.
  • Crack rocks - Rock candy OR glue and baking soda
  • Needle injections - prosthetic arms, trick needles, OR for budget movies - stunt guy just frickin' does it.

The Great Superpower Debate

  • Face freezing power - 2.5/10

About Starship Troopers - Movie Information

Sam's Boring Bullshit

My confused relationship with this film begins in 1997 when I saw it at the theater. It was as any of my confused relationships have gone. I take a girl out to tacos and then afterwards there is that “should I ask her to ice cream even though I am not that into her” moment. I don’t ask and two years later I find out she was allergic to tacos and she just wanted to tug me off in her Camaro. That is when I realize, holy shit, I didn’t get what was going on there, I would have totally got my wiener pulled in the back of an American classic, alas that ship had sailed and the tug boat headed down the stream to tow a different load into the bay of soiled upholstery. That is about what happened with me and this movie. When it came out I thought it was okay but kind of weird, totally didn’t get it. I read the novel about 5 months after seeing the film and would, for the next five years or so, hold Starship Troopers as the gold standard for how to fuck up a novel.

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Point Break (1991)

Point Break (1991)
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For 25 years, people have been celebrating a film about a FBI guy spending 3/4 of the movie trying to get fired and perhaps sent to prison, while steadily falling in love with a dude brah. Since its release apparently no one has watched it because this crap stinks and not in good ways.

I'm sorry to say everyone but this movie just isn't very good NOR is it very bad. It is as middle of the road and completely unremarkable as any movie has ever existed. What? It's not very good? 

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Prelude to Point Break (1991)

Prelude to Point Break (1991)
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Johnny Utah finally graces our presence in Kathryn Bigelow's second appearance on the show. Can it POSSIBLY be a good movie? Can it be a bad movie that everyone thinks is good? Or is it just the same as her Near Dark and just meh? Least Busey is in it.

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

  • Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life - Netflix (No longer available)
  • The Thaw - Amazon Prime
  • The Brain that Wouldn't Die - (with MST3K) - YouTube
  • Darkman - Netflix

The Great Superpower Debate

Telekinesis limited to 8 ft range and 40 lbs. - 6.5 stars

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Point Break (2015)

Point Break (2015)
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For years people have been requesting a remake of a really stupid and poorly thought out 90's movie with horrendous acting and too many "dude bros" and then make it much much stupider. Wait...no one asked for that? Then wait the hell is the point of Point Break (2015)?

The story of 2015's Point Break is truly one of the more poorly thought plots in recent memory. Johnny Utah must go undercover into some extreme guys again and to do it he must also do extreme stuff to build up their trust. There the plot similarity ends. The real dumb stuff is the motivation of Bodhi and his crew. They are going to save the Earth (environmentally, ie. "Mans progress is totally harshing my groove, bro" crap)...by doing 8 extreme sport/stunts. Yup. Save the Earth by jumping off stuff. Now one can argue that they are environmental terrorists who are going to stop corporations from damaging the Earth by extreme criminality but at no point would any of their stunts do that, one, in fact, damages the Earth more than the activity they are preventing and then halfway through the movie, they just give up on that completely and just do extreme sports so, as Bodhi puts it, "become one with the Earth". If only "becoming one with the Earth" meant splattering into the side of it at terminal velocity.

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Sssssss

Sssssss
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In what very well may be the worst mad scientist plan of all time, Professor Stoner (didn't make that up) turns innocent David from Man to Snakeman to.....well mongoose lunch. It's ssssssso ssssssstupid! It should be mentioned that no other film on this podcast is as worthy of being a MST3K episode.

Sssssss suffers from being not only very poorly thought out but also has some of the least movie making efforts ever attempted in film. It's not quite as useless as Frogs but tries to dupe us that it is a film but just showing shot after shot of crazy! snakes. However, they are live snakes and the actors aren't trained professionals so that at least makes these sequences viewable. Each sequence of snake business is spent wondering if the actors are going to get bit or smooshed or if they are accidentally going to kill one of the little serpents. ASPCA be damned!

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Prelude to Sssssss

Prelude to Sssssss
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This week Justin rolls the dice on maybe the worst movie title of all time. Seriously, try to tell your friends your watching Sssssss and listen how it comes out of your mouth. Onomatopoeia should never be used in film titles. But we think its about snake men...

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

  • Moonraker - Hulu Plus
  • The Living Daylights - Hulu Plus
  • Tomorrow Never Dies - Hulu Plus

The Greatest Super Power Debate

Fish Man - 6.5 stars

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The Apple

The Apple
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In the year 1994, disco has become such a force in culture that record producers can rule the government forcing the citizens of Earth to face prison time and social rejection if they are not down with "BIM"...we still aren't sure what BIM is but apparently you must be down with it. However, we are not.

This movie stinks! Wow is this not how you make a movie and its such a mess that it becomes a spectacle. Normally, movies that predict the future are pretty off in their predictions of how we live but this one is WAAAAYYYY off. I don't remember glam in 1994's music. Maybe I misses something but I don't remember flannel having alot of glitter on it. But this film just can't believe that disco and "The Bay City Rollers" weren't going to rule music.

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Prelude to The Apple

Prelude to The Apple
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Jackie brings us her third musical mess with 1980's The Apple from Cannon Films, directed by none other than Menaham Golan. Can it beat out other similarily crappy 1980 films Can't Stop the Music and Xanadu?

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

The Great Superpower Debate

Shitting Telepathy

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Yor: The Hunter from the Future

Yor: The Hunter from the Future
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Yor does not come from the future. He comes from over there. Sorry for the spoiler. He is still awesome. The ladies love him, the men fear him and Yor believes himself to be the most rad dude of all time and he might be right.

Yor is one of those wacky Italian movies that believes to be a good idea with a good story but is just a mess of silly business. Yor bounces smugly from scene to scene veritably stating directly to the audience, "Hey, did you know I'm awesome? Cause I am." His motivations aren't clear, his actions are bonkers, and his idiom is dubious. He's great. He even has his own awesome theme song (Yor's World) that rivals "Do You Want to Be a Hero" from Biggles: Adventure in Time and "Stargrove" from Never Too Young To Die.

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Prelude to Yor: The Hunter from the Future

Prelude to Yor: The Hunter from the Future
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For years, Sam has been praising Yor: The Hunter from the Future and now its finally time to share it's hunky goodness with the rest of the world. Let the scantily clad ladies fill our eyeballs. Plus we don't talk about Star Wars OR Christmas!

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

The Great Superpower Debate

The Super Penis

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Dreamcatcher

Dreamcatcher
2003 dreamcatcher 002
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Four buddies with superpowers given to them by an alien that may or may not be mentally handicapped, have to team up to stop poop monsters from making people get icky tummies. Really, that's the movie. Wow....

In our first 2 parter ever, we break down 2003's Dreamcatcher. This movie is insanity. There is just about everything you want in a bad movie in this one. It is a scosh too long but this one's got it all with the combination of the stupid plot, the bad acting, the cheesy movie monster (it comes out butts), the dubiousness of Morgan Freeman and Tom Sizemore's characters, and Dudditts. Wow, Duddits. We love you, Duddits.

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Prelude to Dreamcatcher

Prelude to Dreamcatcher
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Duddits is the man of the week as we go back to one of the most surprisingly bad (we mean bad) blockbusters of all time. It's 2003's Stephen King based Dreamcatcher starring every single actor ever!

I gotta admit, whomever cut that trailer did an epic job of polishing a turd. It really looks like a good movie. Way to mask all the poop monster stuff!

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Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever

Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever
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Watch the Whole Movie!....kinda but don't bother watching it anyways.

An Internet meme gets its own movie which is supposed to be a Christmas movie but isn't. How long will it be before Lifetime calls us for the first Stinker Madness movie?

This film sucks, even by Lifetime Channel or made for TV standards. It's truly torturous. Strike one is talking animals. Strike two is the unending "jokes" that Grumpy Cat makes usually involving breaking the 4th wall. Strike three is the movie has nothing to do with Christmas. Take the Christmas decorations out of the mall and the movie remains completely unchanged. Even Kirk Cameron can make a movie about Xmas.

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Prelude to Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever

Prelude to Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever
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Watch the Whole Movie!.....kinda

Jingle bells all and merry Decemberween to you. Jackie brings in a Lifetime Channel original Xmas movie starring a cat who is an Internet meme. It can't be awful right? Talking animals, the magic of Xmas and a network notorious for making awful cheese family fests?

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

The Great Superpower Debate

Super Fast Wardrobe and Makeup Changing

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Biggles: Adventures in Time

Biggles: Adventures in Time
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Some guy who is NOT named Biggle's has ONE adventure in just ONE time. So with an inaccurate title, we travel back and forth to 1917 to defeat the Nazi's secret sound weapon that makes things too hot. Don't ask too many questions.

Biggle's on paper sounds like a missed gem from our youth. The idea of a man named Biggle's traveling through time and having hijinx sounds like it would become your favorite movie when you're 12. Apparently the books are exactly that. But this movie is not. Biggle's is not the protagonist. It's a guy named Jim Ferguson who somehow gets transported back and forth from the present to 1917. So even he doesn't have "Adventures in Time" He just goes back to ONE time. So if you are looking for a sillier Bill and Ted's, you're not going to get it.

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Prelude to Biggles: Adventures in Time

Prelude to Biggles: Adventures in Time
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Brought to you by Timelonel, the best cure for time travel headaches and Ted Stevens, Time Gigolo

This week Sam brings in one of his favorite movies from his childhood called Biggles. It's a time travel movie that desired to combine Indiana Jones with Back to the Future. Sounds like a recipe for success to us!

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