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Punisher: War Zone

Punisher: War Zone
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Our final film in our superhero threepeat is 2008's MCU bonkersfest Punisher: War Zone and its a masterpiece. Its the most violent, over the top, ridiculous, preposterous, bad-assery, poorly acted gem of an incredible time. It would have been impossible for this film to be successful but it is also impossible to NOT be a cult-classic. It's great.

Ray Stevenson kills it as the Punisher. There should be no other person to ever play Frank Castle (Sorry Joe Bernthal, Punisher doesn't have roof top conversations with men in tights; he just kills people). Ray's big, formidable, and hardly has any lines. He's brilliant.

Then, on the other side of the acting, you have Dominic West (Jigsaw), who seems like possibly the worst actor imaginable. He's a caricature of a tough guy. It seems impossible that anyone could be worse, but then....it happens. Doug Hutchison (Looney Bin Jim) is bananas. He wins the bad act-off contest in stunning fashion. If bad-acting was a gladiatorial tournament, then Dominic West would yell at the audience "Are you not entertained?" (poorly) and the audience would go nuts but the Emperor would give the thumbs down and in comes the ringer, Doug Hutchison. Doug is blindfolded and has one hand behind his back and a moldy orange as his weapon, and beat the crap out of Dominic West. And then they team up to take down the whole Roman Empire for the rest of the movie. It's amazing.

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Prelude to Punisher: War Zone

Prelude to Punisher: War Zone
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In the last of our Superhero Threepeat, we are super jacked to bring in one of the most ridiculous (and awesome) films ever made. Its just one of only two "Marvel Knights" movies and I can't imagine why there weren't more. Ray Stevenson becomes Frank Castle in a bonkers and violent manner in Punisher: War Zone. Do not fail to watch this epic film.

Streaming Do's and Don'tsFrozen - StarzSahara - NetflixPredator - StarzWild Card - Pop Quiz, Hotshot

Real or not real comic book characters?

The Red BeeMadame FatalMatter Eater LadUS 1About Punisher: War Zone Movie InformationSam's Boring Bullshit

After the whirlwind non-success of Lions Gate (more aptly loins gate) 2004 Punisher, it was announced that the DVD sales were strong enough to warrant a sequel. Oddly, the studio would almost go bankrupt in 2012. Writer/Director Jonathan Hensleigh was back on board to direct with Tom Jane reprising his role as Frank Castle. The script this time was being worked on by a writer independent of Hensleigh. It would seem that early drafts would cause the departure of Hensleigh. This I should think to be a tall order, to write a script that would chase off the guy who wrote Armageddon. Jane stayed on like a trooper and at one point had gained 12 pounds of muscle for the role. Eventually a later version of the scrip would chase of Jane, who would rather and subsequently star in The Mist, Mutant Chronicles and Drive Hard. That’s got to be one dandy of a script. After being turned down by a hand full of directors they eventually hire Lexi Alexander. Alexander quit the second she saw the script. After Lions Gate gave her full creative control of the project she came back aboard. Alexander’s previous film was Green Street, which holds the distinction of being the second film to win both the Jury Prize and the Audience Award at SXSW. She has, however, had trouble staying busy since. It seems like there is an abundance of writers attached to the film, to the point where who did what is a mystery. 

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Supergirl

Supergirl
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Part 2 of our 3 Superhero Movie Festival just so happens to be our 200th podcast episode! Congratulations to us! Sadly the movie, Supergirl, does not contain any of the fanfare that revolves around our momentous milestone. It's just one of the most boring, uneventful films ever made.

There are so many problems with Supergirl. The first and foremost is that absolutely nothing happens of interest. It's truly unwatchable in the level of bore. Make something happen guys...anything.

Secondly, it breaks its own rules constantly. First is the entire franchise. Superman's home of Krypton got exploded and he was the only survivor right? Well Supergirl is his cousin, which is fine. But the total lack of exposition about how she exists is troubling. She and a group of others who may or may not be Kryptonian live in the bottom of a lake in Minnesota (in micro-size, none the less). So did they get there before Krypton exploded? They've been on Earth this whole time? Shouldn't they have the powers of the yellow sun as well? Who are these people?

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Prelude to Supergirl

Prelude to Supergirl
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In part 2 of our Superhero fest, we follow Superman IV with another flop from the Supes franchise, 1984's Supergirl, starring Helen Slater of The Legend of Billie Jean fame. How offensive will Jackie's third 1980's teen girl movie be? Can it stand up to the horrible morals established in Teen Witch? Will it have as much creepy sexual misguidance as Tomboy? We're two for two in this genre so hopefully Supergirl will uphold the tradition.

Streaming Do's and Don'tsWolf - StarzChain Reaction - StarzCool World - StarzWild Card - The Superhero Poop BattleBatman vs The JokerThe Joker vs Lex LuthorThor vs Lex LuthorAbout Supergirl - Movie InformationSam's Boring Bullshit

As mentioned in last week’s SBBS, or as I refer to it in private; the astute observations of a handsome genius, this was the final cannonball that sunk the dubious Salkind Superman franchise. After the dreadful Superman 3 the Salkinds felt they could revive the series by doing a spinoff with Supergirl. At this point Richard Lester has once again had it with the Salkinds. The directorial search ended with French director Jeannot Szwarc, a veteran of American Television. He had previously directed Christopher Reeves in Somewhere in Time. His Hollywood commercial viability was dropping as the aforementioned Somewhere in Time had under-performed and his follow up, Enigma with Martin Sheen was a full flop. The Salkinds, who were probably out of options, took him on the recommendation of Reeves, who would subsequently bail on his cameo in this film. The script was provided by David O’Dell who, with his next film would provide Stinker Madness with it’s first episode: Masters of the Universe. Odell also wrote the script for the visual masterpiece, The Dark Crystal. Those who have paid close attention to the dialogue and the story of The Dark Crystal have determined that it makes as much sense as a screen door on a submarine. Money was apparently no object as Dolly Parton would turn down 7 million to play the witch. The opening credits reportedly cost $1 million.

As to the troubled nature of this film, it remains the only DC movie not released by Warner, ever. Warner finished the movie but opted to scrap it, Tristar would offer them enough to distribute the movie. One of Tristar’s strategies on recouping the initial investment on purchasing the distribution rights was to go direct to video in markets outside the US. At one point a container that was only labeled “do not use” was found in the vault of Pinewood Studios.  Inside that container was the director’s cut of Supergirl, with a total running time of 138 minutes. There was reportedly an hour cut from the “do not use” version. Oddly the “do not use” version would be one of the more successful versions as Anchor Bay did a limited edition of 50,000 copies which apparently sold.

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Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
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Its time for another great threepeat of similarly themed crappy movies and in honor of Cap Vs Iron Man we are going to delve into some of the less talked about but maybe even worse superhero movies that have graced the silver screen and then tripped upon entrance. You'll thrill at Superman IV's ineptness! You'll gasp at the offensiveness of Supergirl! You'll wonder at the banana business that is Punisher: War Zone! Join us for this excellent showcase of flops in the worlds of DC and Marvel.

Superman takes on Lex Luthor's crappy cro-magnon clone of the Man of Steel while adding the power of the sun. So he's made of the thing that gives Supes his power on Earth? Bad design, Lex. Oh also, Superman owns a net specifically made to store nuclear missiles. Did he buy that?

Wow, this film...wow. What a train wreck. Superman IV is very easily one of the worst executed films of all time. The writing is awful, the action is awful, the acting is awful, the set design, costumes, sound, editing and even the film credits are awful. At no point in the production process did anyone stop and say, "Guys, this is not it! Start over!" Its preposterous!

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Prelude to Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

Prelude to Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
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Its time for another great threepeat of similarly themed crappy movies and in honor of Cap Vs Iron Man we are going to delve into some of the less talked about but maybe even worse superhero movies that have graced the silver screen and then tripped upon entrance. You'll thrill at Superman IV's ineptness! You'll gasp at the offensiveness of Supergirl! You'll wonder at the banana business that is Punisher: War Zone! Join us for this excellent showcase of flops in the worlds of DC and Marvel.

This week we prepare to enter the world of the 4 Christopher Reeves' Superman experience with the fourth and final of them. Superman faces off against Nuclear Man and the world's problem with too many damn nukes! We start the episode with Arch-Maker.com, the only speed dating experience for hero's and villain's trying to find the perfect nemesis match.

Streaming Do's and Don'tsSmokey and the Bandit II - StarzThe Saint - NetflixDemons - Shudder.tvWild Card - The Great Superpower Debate

Static Electricity Sponge Person - 4/10 stars

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She

She
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Sandahl Bergman and a couple of nut-sacks take us on an Odyssey through one bonkers town to the next in a post-apocalyptic/swords and sandals mashup. We welcome our very special guest, Toren Atkinson of The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets and the Caustic Soda Podcast, to help us attempt to make sense of 1982's She.

We want to say a huge thank you to the very funny, Toren Atkinson. We've all been huge fans of the Caustic Soda Podcast and are happy to have our second of the three hosts on our show. Don't hesitate to go back and listen to our hilarious American Ninja episode with Joe Fulgham for more Caustic Soda business. Toren is also the front-man of the "Chuthulu" rock band, The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets. TDotHT is recording and new album and Toren was kind enough to let us include one of the most badass of tracks, "Nyarlathotep". 

For more on Toren, Caustic Soda, and The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets, please please please visit:

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Prelude to She

Prelude to She
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This week on the Stinker Madness Podcast we get ready for the 1982 Sandahl Bergman "post-apocalyptic" Oddysey, She. Be sure to join us on the main episode when special guest, Toren Atkinson, from The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets and the Caustic Soda podcast joins us to try and make heads or tails of She.

We open the episode with the most pronouny game show of all time, "Who did that? We did!"

Streaming Do's and Don'tsThe Cave - StarzRunning Scared - NetflixLeprechaun 4: In Space - StarzThe Wild Card - The Great Superpower Debate

The ability to rewind time by 30 seconds - See Life is Strange video game - 7.5 out of 10

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Purple Rain

Purple Rain
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Last weekend, millions of Prince fans watched the 1984 music film, Purple Rain, in honor of his Royal Highness, the Purple One. The 3 hosts of Stinker Madness joined in and celebrated the incredible talent and brilliance of Prince Rogers Nelson. The world won't be the same without him.

Purple Rain is not a musical, let's just get that out of the way. The songs take place within the world as part of concert performances, NOT the characters singing the narrative of the film. As such, this film becomes one of those hard ones to classify that may end up being in the same genre as Ray, Walk the Line, That Thing You Do and even Metallica's Through the Never, which barely contains any narrative at all. While Purple Rain is one of the finest examples of this genre there is, we will not be judging it against those particular types of movies, but movies as a whole. 

There's some problems with Purple Rain. The story is conflicting with itself for one. The Kid (Prince) and his band Revolution as supposed to be causing the owner of the nightclub grief, because Kid only plays songs that he likes and isn't pulling in much of a crowd. The problem there is that you can't say such a thing and then start the film with a phenomenal performance of "Let's Go Crazy" that would make the entire town of Minneapolis go ape-shit over. Any manager/bar owner would have seen that and said, "You know what, these guys are headlining this place for as long as I can keep them; which probably won't be for long." There's no conflict with the band that makes any sense; they are clearly the most incredible thing this place will ever see from the start.

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Prelude to Purple Rain

Prelude to Purple Rain
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Yesterday, the Artist Foreverly Known as Prince left us here on Earth with our dicks in our hands saying, "Well that's it. If Prince can die then there is no hope of me living forever." And now, as tears subside, we celebrate the musical genius by honoring his work in 1984's Purple Rain. Wow, what an honor.

Trigger Alert! Trigger Alert!

We start the episode with an intro that some Western religious folk may find offensive. If you offend easily to the impression of God and Heaven then you may want to skip this one. What? It's not like we drew a picture of Moha- (the writer of Stinker Madness has been sacked).

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Tomboy

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Betsy Russell cranks up the charm while the movie's everything else sets women's equality back 20 years. It's possibly the most offensive to women (and anyone with a brain) movie to come out of the 80s packaged as a rom-com. Enjoy this movie, but in no way practice anything from it in real life.

We'll start with Betsy Russell, the star (Tommy Boyd). She's quite cute. She's quite charming. She's got a huge rack. But her hair stinks. She suffers from a case of Adrienne Barbeau head. Yes it was the 80's and yes perms were the norm but in "these modern times" perms look ridiculous and only belong on people that work the counter at your local golf course. With that caveat, we'd love it if we could find more stinkers with her in them. She's got IT!

The rest of this movie is a series of bad and offensive ideas where people behind the camera had no concept of reality nor how to treat women properly. The lead beau is an EPIC douche/rapist. In one scene he punches Tommy in the mouth and then while "unconscious" he begins the process of rape. Then she falls in love with him. This guy just punched you in the face and was going to sexually assault you! Don't fall in love with him! Call the cops!

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Prelude to Tomboy

Prelude to Tomboy
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This week on the Stinker Madness Podcast, Jackie chooses a classic 80's sexy-time "girls can do it too" cheese fest starring Betsy Russell as Tommy. Thus begins our third year in "bad" movie podcasting. Gear up!

In this episode we've got a trailer for "Nancy Dan" a mashup of the trailer for Tomboy and Carol. What? Plus....

Streaming Do's and Don'tsBail Out - Amazon PrimePoltergeist III - StarzBehind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon - ShudderThe Wild Card - Who wins in a knife fight?

The Class of Nuke'm High VS Rock n' Roll High School

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Gods of Egypt

Gods of Egypt
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2016's Gods of Egypt has not done so well at the box office nor with the critics, so its time for the SM team to take another bad movie field trip. Can the power of Gerard Butler and Jamie Lannister facing off against each other prove to be awesome?

This movie has been lambasted pretty hard by critics and the wiseness that is the Internet. So many people had mad-ons because there were 0 Egyptian actors in the film and its again just a bunch of white guys pretending to be ethnic, ie. Dracula Untold. Well I have a question....who gives a rats ass! If this film was chock full of Egypt's hottest stars (that aren't joining/getting murdered by Daesh) would it be a good movie? Nope. So eat shit, the Internet.

This movie is a triumph is stupidity. This is truly a bad Hollywood movie. That's the last I'm going to say about how bad this movie is.

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Year 2: Year in Review: Part 2

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Stinker Madness Season 2 Episode Collage
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Happy Anniversary to Stinker Madness with our 2nd year of podcasting in the history books (or the toilet depending on your POV). With the final episode of each year we recap with the top ten most memorable cult, budget and "bad" movies that we saw over the last year. You can bet on each of these ones to be a great and enjoyable time.

In this episode we cover numbers 4-1 and our top 3 best movies that came out in 2016. Be sure to go back and listen to Part 1 when we cover numbers 10-5 Best "Bad" Movies.

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Year 2: Year in Review: Part 1

year 2 in review part1
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Happy Anniversary to Stinker Madness with our 2nd year of podcasting in the history books (or the toilet depending on your POV). With the final episode of each year we recap with the top ten most memorable cult, budget and "bad" movies that we saw over the last year. You can bet on each of these ones to be a great and enjoyable time.

In this episode we cover numbers 10-5. Be sure to stay posted for Part 2 when we cover numbers 4-1 and our top 3 best movies that came out in 2016.

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Deadbeat at Dawn

Deadbeat at Dawn
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It took four years and many many punches, but the final product is a roller coaster of a stinker. Jim Van Bebber's gang-revenge film has one of the craziest final fights ever captured in film.

Along the way is a series of bonkers sequences that may or may not work for everyone but it's still a wild ride. The first 2/3 of the film is pretty slow, if we are honest. You have your typical "gang murdered my babe and now I gotta get me some revenge" plot but it seems there just wasn't enough material to have just that plot line. The film would have been about 30 minutes if it stuck to the plan. So there's alot of scenes that seem to be put in as time fillers. These time fillers setup the protagonist's (Goose) life and universe but they have very little to do with anything and can be a little tedious to get past.

Once the movie hits the gas pedal though, watch out! The last 1/3 of the film is some seriously ridiculous action. Goose's handling of the attacks on him and his subsequent attacking of the gang members rivals Danton (Deadly Prey). He kicks some serious ass. He dispatches about 30 guys in less than 20 minutes. He's offing guys at a rate of 1.5 per minute. It's awesome. 

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Prelude to Deadbeat at Dawn

Prelude to Deadbeat at Dawn
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Its the final movie of our second year of podcasting and the last film eligible for our Year in Review episode. It's Jim Van Bebber pulling a Wiseau and killing his way to revenge and no amount of gang members are going to stand in his way. How much ass can he kick? Plenty.

Streaming Do's and Don'tsStar Knight - YouTubeCannibal! The Musical - HuluWildcard - Amazon Prime VideoGood Neighbor, Bad Neighbor - The PresidentsPresident Benson - HotshotsPresident Dave - DavePresident Frankenstein - Deathrace 2000About Deadbeat at Dawn - Movie InformationSam's Boring Bullshit

Goose is the leader of the Ravens… So wait, the Ravens are led by a Goose? What kind of motorcycle gang is this? Wouldn’t the Birds have members named Goose and Raven, not the Ravens with members Goose and Keith? If one was hoping the rival Spiders have better attention to details, one will not be rewarded. The Spiders are Danny and Bonecrusher. I think I got bit by a danny spider the other day, it could have been a bone crusher though…

Jim Van Bebber is the Producer, Director, Writer and Star of Deadbeat at Dawn. After winning a scholarship with his epic 8mm kung fu film Into the Black, Van Bebber attended the school of cinema at Write State University, for one year. He spent the money he was supposed to spend on his second year, including a loan, making Deadbeat at Dawn. I am glad he did, his parents probably aren’t. 

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Gone with the Pope

Gone with the Pope
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Duke Mitchell gives us his best Godfather impression and along the way offends all of mankind, sails the Atlantic without problem, nabs the most powerful man on the planet with a pistol, and then finds God? It's one of the most bonkers films ever made and shouldn't be missed.

This film is one of those rare "masterpieces" that come once every few hundred years. When films like Gone with the Pope are released, the stars and planets must all be in line and druids must sacrifice a virgin on top of some rocks. This is incredibly unique. It's two movies mashed into one with one of the least charismatic actors fronting the entire show all while not having a clue on how to make a movie. It's a vanity piece on par with The Room with a screenplay that is written on napkins and roll up hundreds primarily used for snorting coke. What Duke Mitchell put together in 1975 is a trainwreck of catastrophic proportions.

But then you take the incredible work that Bob Murawski did with restoring and recutting the film and the incredible soundtrack by Jeff Mitchell (Director Duke Mitchell's son) and you've got this travesty of a film packaged in a box that rivals the production qualities of Heat and Good Fellas. It's insane. Imagine if Troll 2 was reproduced by Steven Spielberg. 

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Prelude to Gone with the Pope

Prelude to Gone with the Pope
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It's time for one of the craziest films ever to be made (sorta). In 1976, Duke Mitchell shot most of the film and then the footage disappeared..until now! We think it's about some mafia guys who kidnap The Pope, yes that Pope. You don't want to miss this one. 

Streaming Do's and Don'tsEraser - NetflixSmokey and the Bandit - StarzLeprechaun 3 - StarzGood Neighbor, Bad NeighborYor, The Hunter from the FutureBodhi - Point Break (1991)Johnny Rico - Starship TroopersAbout Gone with the Pope - Movie InformationSam's Boring Bullshit

Bob Murawski, who is known for editing the majority of Sam Raimi’s work, and Sage Stallone, who is known for coming out of Sylvester Stallone’s testicles, together founded Grindhouse Releasing. Grindhouse has been called the Criterion of cult films. The story goes that in 1995 Stallone and Murawski found the work print of gone with the pope in Jeff Mitchell’s garage, Jeff being the son of director Duke Mitchell. It would then take 15 years to restore the film. In 2010 the film was finished and given a very limited release. The numbers say that this was released to DVD in 2014 while Mitchell’s other film, Massacre Mafia Style, was released to home video on 2015. This seems to not jive as I watched a copy of Massacre Mafia Style in 2014, possibly even 2013. In more contrast to the listed release dates, the word on the street was that the release of Massacre Mafia Style and subsequent DVD sales funded the Blu-ray mastering of Gone With the Pope. Though he did see the completion of the film, Stallone would die tragically of a heart attack in 2012 several years before it’s wider home release.

Mitchell, the King of Palm Springs, started his entertainment career club singing for $65 a week. Sammy Petrillo, at that time, was also making about that for comedy. They teamed up and did a Martin & Lewis thing for a few years. At the height of their popularity they were in the budget film Bella Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla. Shortly thereafter Jerry Lewis would have them blackballed. Duke continued his career as an entertainer and would eventually become responsible for the highly successful Palm Springs Ranch Club “Sunday Brunches” where he would bring in such exotic guests such as Cary Grant, Frank Sinatra and Lucille Ball. Mitchell’s film making strategy was as loose as those brunches probably got. Reportedly the closest thing to a script the film had was a pile that consisted of notebooks, loose papers, and ideas written on envelopes and cocktail napkins. He would put anyone in the film provided that he gave them money. He shot the whole thing on weekends and fired his sound guy so he wouldn’t have to pay him. There was reportedly $35k spent on the unfinished project.  Massacre Mafia Style was finished at a cost of $50k.

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Vampire's Kiss

Vampire's Kiss
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Academy Award winning Nicolas Coppola (he's not the Nic Cage we know and love yet) stars as a completely insane man and gives a completely insane performance in a movie that seems to be about vampires but....no. It's known as a true stinker but we have a different take.

This film has its flaws for sure. There's some technical flaws, there's some bad shots, way too much stock footage, a piss poor actress with a huge head that isn't deserved but for the most part it's a solid piece. The mystery from Vampire's Kiss stems from the over the top performance by Nic. So let's just discuss his little acting job.

He's crazy. He's got this weird accent that can't be defined. It's like a mixture of Irish, SoCal dude bro, New York and New Zealandese (is that a thing?). Depending on his emotions the accent fades out of one ingredient to another. He seems to get much more Irish when he's pissed and much more SoCal when he's calm.

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