Take beavers, add radioactive waste, a cabin in the woods scenario and you've got the idea behind Zombeavers. Add annoying characters, a series of missed opportunities, confusion on what the film is trying to do, doing the dog in the wrong way, and far too many unintentional cliches to be bothered with. If you enjoyed films like Cabin Fever, Cabin in the Woods, or Dale and Tucker Versus Evil then this film is a platform for disappointment. This is much more like Wolf Cop. Bummer.
The primary problem with the film is that it doesn't know what it is. Is it a comedy that takes a satirical look at all of the tropes of your typical budget monster movie? Or is it just a crapped out, lazily written horror movie that doesn't bother to create anything new other than that the antagonist is furry beavers? There's points of the movie where you think "Oh good they get it and this is going to be fun" such as the opening with John Mayer and Bill Burr, or bothering with much of a scientific explanation of the beavers being zombies or instead of when bitten you just become a zombie of whatever species you are, you become a zombeaver version of whatever species you are. But then it trips over a plethora of plot details that get setup but go absolutely no where or fail to deliver the right joke that is blatantly staring the audience right in the face. Its like someone is pitching the script perfectly at a writer who has never swung a bat before. Swing and miss. Swing and miss.
The actors....wow. Quite the mix of people that you either absolutely hate (I'm talking to you Sam (Farenheit 51 AKA Hutch Dano)) or completely don't care about at all (Talking to you Jenn (Lexi Atkins)). The characters and actors that you DO care about and like are on screen for far too little specifically the aforementioned Mayer and Burr, as well as the neighbors and Smyth (Rex Linn).
There are things that should be defended in this film. The zombeavers themselves are fun. They are never taken seriously by the viewer nor are they delivered as serious by the filmmakers. Kudos. Why the fuck did you make the characters, suspense and action supposed to be taken seriously?!?! The gore is pretty fun and the makeup is quite good. Zoe jumps through a window and a good jump through a window sequence always gets a movie an extra half star.
In the end, there are some very good (but brief) moments in the film that are fun and new but they are SO few and far between with a majority of the movie being covered in filler. The rest of it just leaves you with anger as you wish that anyone else had written the movie because it's a complete waste of a great idea. It's also a complete waste of your time. Just go back and watch Cabin Fever, Cabin in the Woods, or Dale and Tucker Versus Evil again.
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