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Tomboy

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Betsy Russell cranks up the charm while the movie's everything else sets women's equality back 20 years. It's possibly the most offensive to women (and anyone with a brain) movie to come out of the 80s packaged as a rom-com. Enjoy this movie, but in no way practice anything from it in real life.

We'll start with Betsy Russell, the star (Tommy Boyd). She's quite cute. She's quite charming. She's got a huge rack. But her hair stinks. She suffers from a case of Adrienne Barbeau head. Yes it was the 80's and yes perms were the norm but in "these modern times" perms look ridiculous and only belong on people that work the counter at your local golf course. With that caveat, we'd love it if we could find more stinkers with her in them. She's got IT!

The rest of this movie is a series of bad and offensive ideas where people behind the camera had no concept of reality nor how to treat women properly. The lead beau is an EPIC douche/rapist. In one scene he punches Tommy in the mouth and then while "unconscious" he begins the process of rape. Then she falls in love with him. This guy just punched you in the face and was going to sexually assault you! Don't fall in love with him! Call the cops!

There is non-stop nonsense in this movie. Tommy's bestie "Seville" is a great bad movie character with every scene a laugh riot. Usually the blonde ditsy partner to the protagonist is one of the least likable characters but Kristi Somer's Seville is a whole lot of fun. The donut dance scene (yes that's what I said) is hilarious.

This is 80's schlock that rivals the stupidity of Teen Witch. It's completely offensive, chock full of boobs, blatant stupidity by the characters, and one of the silliest endings of all time. Watch Tomboy and then buy your mother/girlfriend/wife/neighbor lady a bouquet of roses and thank them for putting up with the shit they've been dumped on for 12,000 years. 

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:2-star
Cheesy effects:0-star
Horrendous acting:2-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:4-star
Ridiculous stunts:1-star
Gratuitous nudity:5-star
Memorable one-liners:3-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:7-star

Prelude to Purple Rain
Prelude to Tomboy

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Sunday, 24 September 2017

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