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Speed Racer

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38 Metacritic, 39% Rotten Tomatoes, 35% domestic returns, universally panned by all, a terrible idea that could never make money and its one of the best films we've reviewed. If you haven't seen Speed Racer, you are blowing it.

DISCLAIMER: Speed Racer is in NO possible way a stinker (other than it's reputation). It's absolutely crack for your eyeballs. It's pulse-pounding racing action and over-the-top fun, all while being genuinely funny, well told, competently acted and a great tale. At the very least, it should have won Oscar gold for special effects, editing, sound design, production design, and cinematography. So don't expect much lampooning here.

So here we shall discuss why it makes it on the podcast. Its because its Speed Racer. No one cares. No one wants to care. It falls into the same bad idea category of (the deplorable) Jem and the Holigrams and (the BRILLIANT) Blade Runner 2049. You cannot make your money back, no matter how well you make the film. There just isn't a big enough fan base to capture the attention of the movie masses and have success. It's impossible!

Then you've got the Wachowskis. They've got The Matrix in their stable of quality films, but they've just come out of The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revalations which BOTH are horrible, awful, crap. So they are not real popular with the critics and general film audience at the time. Ie. See backlash of George Lucas by his own fanbase for "Greedo Shoots First" and "Are you an angel?". It doesn't matter what you made before, you now stink. So they went in expecting crap and then seeing it as crap and then piled on the negative reviews on an exquisite film because they wouldn't take the time to "get it". 

They just didn't get it and if you've avoided Speed Racer because you didn't get it (we are guilty too) you are making a massive mistake and missing out on one of the most underrated movies in history. It's spectacular.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:5-star
Cheesy effects:0-star
Horrendous acting:1-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:4-star
Ridiculous stunts:4-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:2-star
Riffability:2-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 8-star
Bad Movie Quality:9-star

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Tuesday, 19 June 2018

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