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Sleepwalkers

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Cat people. It's a movie about cat people. Written by horror master, Stephen King, it's arguably the most comedic horror film ever made. You thought Dreamcatcher was rife with errors...buckle in, folks.

Sleepwalkers is absolutely bananas. We'll just say right now that this is a must-do film for fans of crummy movies. It's a laugh riot. For instance, let's just put it out there that the chief action star of this film is a house cat, named Clovis. Clovis rivals Chuck Norris, Schwaz, Stallone and Van Damme in the pantheon of 90s action stars. I'm not joking.

So the film is basically about these cat people-- Ancient Egyptian people that have no origin but all of the superpowers (teleportation, telekinesis, invisibility, shape-shifting, invulnerability, immortality) and one of the most dumb weakness of all, allergic to cats. They are cat-people (half-people, half-cat) and their one weakness is cats?!?! Right. So if you've got a plague of cat-people in your town, if you don't have a Clovis, supercop, you're screwed I guess.

So the plot's dumb. Check! Then there's the elements. The makeup is awful. The action is ludicrous (see Clovis). The cameos are constant. The dialogue is atrocious (Perlman - "It's a Polish Fire Drill!" when someone steps in a bear trap and "Cop Kebab!"). And the effects are... well... a clinic on how not to do effects (with the exception of one great morph effect when the Mustang transforms into a Trans Am). Also, that Trans Am is seriously bitchin'.

It's one of Jackie's best picks of the entire series of our show. Sleepwalkers is a MUST-DO film. Fantastic.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:3-star
Cheesy effects:4-star
Horrendous acting:3-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:5-star
Ridiculous stunts:3-star
Gratuitous nudity:1-star
Memorable one-liners:4-star
Riffability:5-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:8-star

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About Sleepwalkers - Movie Information

Sam's Boring Bullshit

Though many films bare Stephen King’s name, Sleepwalkers is the closest thing to a film by King as has been made. King served as an uncredited producer and also penned the screenplay. King will take no leave from his divergences into the absurd.

Mick Garris will direct the film. King will like him so much that his next two projects will be the miniseries events, The Stand and The Shining. I have to mention slightly more about The Shining as when it came time to cast the role immortalized by Jack Nicholson, the nod was given to Brian from Wings, I guess Roy was busy.

The main cast is made of unknown Brian Krause, Alice Krige from Chariots of Fire, with then flavor of the month Madchen Amick of Twin Peaks fame. With that taken care of they just load the rest of the film up with ringers. Mark Hammil leads things off as mustache cop, Glen Shadix of Betelgeuse fame will show up and Ronny Pearlman will attempt to steal the show ¾ of the way in. There are cameos by King, Tobe Hooper, Clive Barker, Joe Dante and John Landis. The odd couple however is Lyman Ward and Cindy Pickett, who are, of course, Ferris Bueller’s parents. Thought the two were married in real life, they would divorce shortly after the release of this film.  Way to go Stephen. Now no one will pay attention to Jeannie, someone will most likely put her in the corner...

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Tuesday, 21 November 2017

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