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Predator 2

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In what appears to be a Predator version of a bar-mitzvah, Captain Murtaugh has to scratch his head and whisper to himself about things he sees in front of him to stop a bunch of gang-members with mega-guns and voodoo powers from getting their spines ripped out. Oh! AND Bill Paxton!

A movie with a 8 foot tall alien who rips people's spines out, Danny Glover, Bill Paxton and Gary Busey sounds like about the hottest thing that's ever existed. Sign me the hell up and lets get stupid!

Well hold on, kiddies. You've got the most destructive group in film you still have to account for. No, not The Asylum. The MFing MPAA. After extensive recuts (20 of them) to appease a group of soccer-moms with no knowledge of film study, Predator 2 is both lacking in imagination and luster. Its far too tame to work. Its like watching Volcano but with a Predator who's had his wings clipped by the MPAA. Its kinda just disappointingly boring.

It still has its moments here and there. Bill Paxton is put in the role he's made for - the slick Lone Ranger who wears clothes that are too big for him. Glover is as Murtaughy as he can get. The opening action sequence is way stupid and fun. But then everything afterwards is a disappointment. 

If you like Predator and haven't seen P2, then it's a do. But even then it's a one-time view. There is no need to revisit this one folks.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:3-star
Cheesy effects:3-star
Horrendous acting:3-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:3-star
Ridiculous stunts:2-star
Gratuitous nudity:2-star
Memorable one-liners:2-star
Riffability:3-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 4-star
Bad Movie Quality:6-star

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Wednesday, 21 November 2018

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