Listen on Google Play Music

EasyBlog

This is some blog description about this site

Never Too Young to Die

Listen to the Stinker Madness Episode


Watch the Whole Movie!

What happens if you turn a gymnast into an action hero, a trashy whore into super spy, James Bond into a Ben-Gay ad, and Gene Simmons into a lady-boy? Why you get this DTV gem of a movie, duh! Uncle Jesse saves the world from dirty water and Gene Simmons gives us a "too believable" performance. YEEEEAHH!

So John Stamos plays Lance Stargrove, a gymnastic champ who's father is a top secret agent (played by George Lazenby). When Lance's father dies preventing a group of hooligans from doing something unknown, Stargrove must take over the family business and stop Velvet Von Ragner (Gene Simmons), a transgender sociopath with dreams of world domination (we guess). Stargrove is helped out by Danja (Vanity) and his tech buddy Cliff (Peter Kwong).

Some bad movies have a great beginning and a great ending but the middle is dry and dull. This is often due to lack of a budget or lack of imagination in the writing. Never Too Young to Die is not one of those films. This thing comes in hot and never cools down with scene after scene of shenanigans that you look for in a classic stinker. From the unforgettable theme song (entitled Stargrove, naturally) to the climatic and preposterous battle on top of a dam between Stargrove and Von Ragner, this one is solid gold.

Stamos and Simmons deliver incredibly memorable performances and attempt to duke it out on who is the most ridiculous. Stamos being an action hero is tremendously silly with his gymnastics, smooth hair and his Warner Bros cartoon style of love-making. Yet, Simmons takes the cake. His performance is almost too good and makes us have some serious questions about Gene in the 80s. 

You cannot miss this movie and is a staple in any bad movie fans collection. Highly recommended viewing here.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:4-star
Cheesy effects:1-star
Horrendous acting:4-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:4-star
Ridiculous stunts:3-star
Gratuitous nudity:3-star
Memorable one-liners:4-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:9-star

Prelude to Flash Gordon
Prelude to Never Too Young to Die

Related Posts

 

Comments

No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Guest
Tuesday, 17 October 2017

Captcha Image

Just Subscribe Already!

Stinker Madness Podcast LogoIts obvious you like Stinker Madness, so subscribe to the podcast and get new episodes of Stinker Madness every week - on your phone, your tablet, your computer, however you like to listen! Once you’ve subscribed, free episodes will automatically download on Fridays and Mondays. Don't know what the hell a podcast is or what it means to subscribe? Enter the present: Click here.

  • I Don't Know How to Get a Podcast
  • Subscribe via iTunes
  • Subscribe on Android
  • RSS Feed
  • Listen on Stitcher
  • This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

itunessubscribe stitcherSubscribeOnAndroid