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Mercenaries

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Cynthia Rothrock builds a team of elite tough gals made up of Zoe Bell, Kristanna Loken, Vivica A. Fox, and Nicole Bilderback to take down a broad-shouldered Brigitte Nielsen who is hell bent on being the CEO of a bad-guy factory. With the power of plot convenience and inept villains, the team invade "The Citadel" to spring the kidnapped First Daughter and maybe some sex slaves.

So the movie achieves two things - becoming the best Asylum movie ever made and reminding us why the cast is still stuck in the C-list bracket. The acting can be quite bad, especially from Vivica A. Fox who reprises her role from Sharknado 2 as Hammered Shit. Cynthia Rothrock helps out by playing the top of the CIA, but choose the worst hair style of all time, usually found on 16 year girls from small towns in Nevada. Zoe Bell dons a poopy face through the whole thing because I guess that looks tough. However, Kristanna Loken, Nicole Bilderback and Brigitte Nielsen surprisingly do a really good job especially Nielsen who dispute going to hell in the looks department plays a very sinister and maniacal villain.

There's some pretty rad parts of the films. The fight/actions scenes are pretty wild particularly the final chase/shootout and when the free the sex-slaves and let them attempt to get their vengeance from their captors. The dialogue is pretty solid for a cheesy action movie, specifically Cynthia Rothrock's explanation of the mission and Kristanna Loken's security guard seduction tactics.

So as a whole, it's a unexpectedly decent action movie. It's silly and hooky here and there but executes its goals well especially with Christopher Olen Ray's directing. He honors his father well and we hope to see more from him in the future.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:3-star
Cheesy effects:2-star
Horrendous acting:3-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:3-star
Ridiculous stunts:2-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:3-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 5-star
Bad Movie Quality:6-star

Prelude to Deadly Prey
Prelude to Mercenaries

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Friday, 18 August 2017

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