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Love Potion No. 9

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Once again, the 80s/90s rom-com genre falls into that horrible disgusting trap of "if you think about this very much you'll want to wash your eyes out with soap" because very unforgivable things happen to the people around the main characters. Both of the people on the cover belong in jail.

There is a serious warning content-wise here but this needs to be said - Love Potion No. 9 is about 1 thing - rape. It steers very clear of the song where it turns the drinker into a raging boner, this love potion causes anyone of the opposite sex to become a mindless zombie and you can make them do whatever you want. So what do the leads do? Well Paul (Tate Donovan) rapes an entire sorority and Diane (Sandra Bullock) makes the Prince of England propose to her forever changing the landscape of the British Monarchy. Wow, what charming, awesome, quirky people? No! Both belong in prison. 

There's only one thing you should do with Love Potion No 8 (#9 isn't good but its not quite as villainous #8) - destroy it. That's the only thing a good person would do with it. It's the most dangerous single chemical that has ever existed in mankind's history and if you do ANYTHING with it but destroy it, you are taking a risk that someone else gets their hands on it. Imagine if the KGB had Love Potion No 8 or if Kim Jong Un (he's not our friend, MAGA) had this. The world would have literally days left before the whole thing is kaboom.

Aside from the nastiness of the mains, there's little else to come for here unless you're out for some nostalgia. There is one sequence involving a horny little chimpanzee that it is absolutely hilarious. But that's it. Anything else is a bit of a waste of time and likely will just want you to rethink every decision that has brought you to this moment in life.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:0-star
Cheesy effects:0-star
Horrendous acting:2-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:2-star
Ridiculous stunts:0-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:2-star
Nonsensical Plot:4-star

Riffability:3-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:4-star

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Monday, 23 September 2019

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