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License to Drive

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The Corey's team up to help Haim get his drivers license and bang a girl. Along the way, they go on a slew of crimes mostly involving reckless endangerment but also sexual assault and child pornography in a showcase of how horrible the 80's were. Not even Heather Graham and Carol Kane can save this.

This film is a pukefest of 80's trends, stupidity, and selfishness. It's a perfect capsule of something that is horrible. So yes, it captures the essence of the decade but the decade sucks and so does this film. Sorry lovers of Aquanet. 

Feldman is passable and the least annoying of the two but that's not saying much. Corey Haim's performance and character are awful and within 20 minutes you just want Les (Haim) to crash the car and explode or just get grounded and actually follow the punishment by staying in his room for the duration of the film. Heather Graham's Mercedes Lane is a testament of how bad this film stinks. They've made an 18 year old, arguably the hottest woman in Hollywood look like a circus clown in an insane asylum. Her character is supposed to be this dream girl, but she's a trainwreck and soon to be buying a bus ticket to former porn star town. She's not a nice girl.

The film is filled with groin-inducing hijinks and hamfisted sequences that fail to achieve either a level of excitement or humor. This is a film for creepo's that either like high school girls or want to go back and do their life over again because their current existence sucks ass. The three of us hated this film and wanted it to be over after the first 5 minutes. Stay clear and just watch The Lost Boys instead.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:2-star
Cheesy effects:0-star
Horrendous acting:2-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:1-star
Ridiculous stunts:2-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:0-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:4-star

Prelude to Volcano
Prelude to License to Drive

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Monday, 20 November 2017

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