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Ice Cream Man

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Clint Howard delivers ice cream and one liners as a murderous Schwann's delivery guy. Is he the Pied Piper or just every other ice cream man? With top cops, Jan Michael Vincent and Lee Majors II on his case, how can he possibly get caught?

While we're not entirely sure what this movie is, we can tell you one thing - it's a lot of fun. It doesn't rise to the so bad it's good level that Troll 2 does, but that's likely to Clint Howard being too talented - but it definitely falls into that same category and tone. The two would make a great double feature. 

When the push-pops hit the fan about 2/3 of the way through - hold on to your seats. Some of the weirdest gore scenes ever captured are here in this film. I won't reveal any highlights but expect lots of wildness with severed heads.

Jan Michael Vincent - wow. He's clearly drunk throughout the whole movie. Scenes cut just as he's about to deliver his lines as all I can guess is that he's about to barf instead. His big scene is a juxtaposition between him shambling through an insane asylum vs his partner, Lee Majors II, doing "action" in the same scenario. It's one of the greatest scenes in bad movies on how awful it is. Imagine Hobbs and Shaw but The Rock is drunk and Jason Statham is trying to show up his dad. It's wonderful.

Ice Cream Man is an absolutely great time, belongs in any bad horror movie discussion and is a much watch from all three of us. Do it.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:1-star
Cheesy effects:4-star
Horrendous acting:4-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:3-star
Ridiculous stunts:0-star
Gratuitous nudity:1-star
Memorable one-liners:2-star
Nonsensical Plot:3-star

Riffability:4-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:7-star

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Comments 1

Guest - Jeremy M. on Tuesday, 25 February 2020 03:40

Oh man, so much bad and so many angles to cover. First, Jan Michael Vincent is tragically in the throws of alcoholism during this movie. From his detached look to his over dubbed lines (particularly the scene when he’s in the car yelling at the kids but all he gets out before the film cuts is “hey”) in a yell that makes me think he was so drunk he thought he actually was a cop trying to scare kids straight or he thought they were fucking up the scene and lost control. Then a casual off camera voice over of “you kids wanna end up on a milk carton?” Most likely 5 Valium's later.
Secondly, the mental Asylum scene was filled with looked like pseudo zombies and then when they attacked him were making what I can describe as Kung fu movie sounds. The final straw of beautiful badness was when the ice cream man asked if the kid if he was “trolling for tuna?” Oh nineties...your cheese was sharp! Anyway been listening to y’all for About 4-5 years now, I think since Joe from “Caustic Soda” was on. Anyway, this is my semi drunkin’ rant/review/praising. Review some Bronson.....Sam I implore you! Justin, Jacks, Sam, thank you and get to the Chopper!

Oh man, so much bad and so many angles to cover. First, Jan Michael Vincent is tragically in the throws of alcoholism during this movie. From his detached look to his over dubbed lines (particularly the scene when he’s in the car yelling at the kids but all he gets out before the film cuts is “hey”) in a yell that makes me think he was so drunk he thought he actually was a cop trying to scare kids straight or he thought they were fucking up the scene and lost control. Then a casual off camera voice over of “you kids wanna end up on a milk carton?” Most likely 5 Valium's later. Secondly, the mental Asylum scene was filled with looked like pseudo zombies and then when they attacked him were making what I can describe as Kung fu movie sounds. The final straw of beautiful badness was when the ice cream man asked if the kid if he was “trolling for tuna?” Oh nineties...your cheese was sharp! Anyway been listening to y’all for About 4-5 years now, I think since Joe from “Caustic Soda” was on. Anyway, this is my semi drunkin’ rant/review/praising. Review some Bronson.....Sam I implore you! Justin, Jacks, Sam, thank you and get to the Chopper!
Guest
Tuesday, 04 August 2020

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