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Hackers

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Once again, we find ourselves "going into the internet" with the incredible speeds of a 28.8k connection. Yet the overt difference here is that there is a wet-t-shirt contest and a mash-up of snowboarder, 'alt' and irreverent fashion trends. It's the clear road-map of not understanding computers, the internet or anyone who surrounded themselves with both of those things. Yipes!

Hackers were never cool. They were never edgy or trendy or care about anything but computers. We were computer nerds in 1995. We only cared about putting Duke Nukem 3D on as many computers as we could find. The characterization of this film is so far from reality and its disconnect from what was actually going on that it's just unfathomable. That's even before we determine how much we hate the characters themselves....

Then there is the complete lack of knowledge of computers themselves. It fits perfectly in with Johnny Mnemonic and The Lawnmower Man in its ineptitude and complete lack of asking someone ANYTHING about computers just one time. However, within the former there is a lot more action that isn't computer-related and the latter has a good sci-fi story buried underneath it's awful film-making and lack of editing. Hackers reigns surpreme in its stupidity.

In the end it's a pretty rough viewing experience and we can only recommend it to a niche market:

  1. You saw it and thought it was good 
  2. You know how dumb it is and you want to share how dumb it is with one of your friends; cuz you're a dick.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:2-star
Cheesy effects:3-star
Horrendous acting:3-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:3-star
Ridiculous stunts:2-star
Gratuitous nudity:2-star
Memorable one-liners:2-star
Riffability:4-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 2-star
Bad Movie Quality:5-star

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

  • Bride of Chucky
  • Seed of Chucky
  • Acts of Vengeance
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Fist of the Vampire

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Comments 3

Guest - C on Friday, 02 March 2018 01:51

Good episode as always, but a lot of things bugged me about this one:

Are you sure that the "ph-" bit in the guide is referring to "phat"? It's a basically accurate description of "phreak".

"Cyberdelia" is a play on psychedelia, not deals. It's not a flea market (there's no commerce at all, barring the quarters going into the arcade machines); it's a more x-treme version of Shredder's teen hideout in the first Turtles movie.

Fisher Stevens wasn't trying to "get" the garbage file "back"; he wanted to erase the downloaded copy because it was incriminating evidence.

And what's this "Johnny Noomonic" stuff? It's mnemonic. That's an E. A few other podcasts do this too, and it drives me right up the wall.

Finally, and more seriously, I was really hoping that I'd heard the last of Jackie's dismissive comments about "trannies". I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, and she seems like a fairly respectful person otherwise, but yeesh. Not pleasant.

Again, I did like the episode overall (scattered gripes here and there can't ruin an hour and change of people talking about this classic of crap), but you guys are normally so much better about the little details like these that it sticks out when you're off. Regardless, can't wait for more Breen!

Good episode as always, but a lot of things bugged me about this one: Are you sure that the "ph-" bit in the guide is referring to "phat"? It's a basically accurate description of "phreak". "Cyberdelia" is a play on psychedelia, not deals. It's not a flea market (there's no commerce at all, barring the quarters going into the arcade machines); it's a more x-treme version of Shredder's teen hideout in the first Turtles movie. Fisher Stevens wasn't trying to "get" the garbage file "back"; he wanted to erase the downloaded copy because it was incriminating evidence. And what's this "Johnny Noomonic" stuff? It's mnemonic. That's an E. A few other podcasts do this too, and it drives me right up the wall. Finally, and more seriously, I was really hoping that I'd heard the last of Jackie's dismissive comments about "trannies". I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, and she seems like a fairly respectful person otherwise, but yeesh. Not pleasant. Again, I did like the episode overall (scattered gripes here and there can't ruin an hour and change of people talking about this classic of crap), but you guys are normally so much better about the little details like these that it sticks out when you're off. Regardless, can't wait for more Breen!
Stinker Madness on Friday, 02 March 2018 18:22

Hey thanks for commenting!
So yes, that "theory" of ph is in the DVD booklet for hackers. It's not some theory we came up with. I assume that it has something to do with "php" which was gaining in popularity and awareness during the mid-90s but don't know for sure. The filmmakers and subsequent marketing team really didn't have much grasp on IT.
I swear we heard, "Cyberdelio" from Matt Lilard, as in, "What's the dealio?" another popular term from the 90's. If you watch again, you will see establishing shots of vendors with cardboard boxes of kit that is being peddled.
We weren't talking about getting the file "back" we were talking about getting the "disk" back. He has the original file to begin with. That's aside from the point that only half the file would be useless as all meta-coding on how to process the data in the 90s was at the END of the file, thus rendering its contents useless.
Mnemonic - we are idiots. Potato/spaghetti.
As for Jackie, yes you are 100% correct. I wouldn't label her comment as dismissive but genuinely insensitive. For the record, she fought tooth and nail to hire a transgender person at her work, but that is no excuse. We will not be deleting as this is an important discussion that we should all be having and change of behavior takes time to correct. Viva la equality!

Keep writing us with any thoughts, even when we are wrong!

Hey thanks for commenting! So yes, that "theory" of ph is in the DVD booklet for hackers. It's not some theory we came up with. I assume that it has something to do with "php" which was gaining in popularity and awareness during the mid-90s but don't know for sure. The filmmakers and subsequent marketing team really didn't have much grasp on IT. I swear we heard, "Cyberdelio" from Matt Lilard, as in, "What's the dealio?" another popular term from the 90's. If you watch again, you will see establishing shots of vendors with cardboard boxes of kit that is being peddled. We weren't talking about getting the file "back" we were talking about getting the "disk" back. He has the original file to begin with. That's aside from the point that only half the file would be useless as all meta-coding on how to process the data in the 90s was at the END of the file, thus rendering its contents useless. Mnemonic - we are idiots. Potato/spaghetti. As for Jackie, yes you are 100% correct. I wouldn't label her comment as dismissive but genuinely insensitive. For the record, she fought tooth and nail to hire a transgender person at her work, but that is no excuse. We will not be deleting as this is an important discussion that we should all be having and change of behavior takes time to correct. Viva la equality! Keep writing us with any thoughts, even when we are wrong!
Guest - Jackie on Sunday, 04 March 2018 23:56

Guest C-
I am truly sorry if my comment was hurtful or seemed to target a group of people that I highly respect. It is never my intent to hurt others. In the future I will try not to be such an insentive butthole, which we all can be at times.

Guest C- I am truly sorry if my comment was hurtful or seemed to target a group of people that I highly respect. It is never my intent to hurt others. In the future I will try not to be such an insentive butthole, which we all can be at times.
Guest
Saturday, 20 October 2018

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