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Gigli

Gigli
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The Razzie sweeping film chock full of idiots, invades! We get Bennifer all over the place and its icky. This film currently (as of Feb. 2015) sits at #71 on the IMDB Bottom 100, so is it the as bad as it's setup or is it just Bennifer backlash?

The plot concept of the film is that one low level mafia guy (whose job is to make phone calls and hang out at restaurants) hires two other lower level mafia guys (Affleck and JLO) to kidnap and babysit a mentally handicapped teen brother, Brian, of a federal prosecutor. The hope is that this federal prosecutor will back off of the head mafia guy (Al Pacino). This plot is the first flaw with Gigli as it is completely dumb. Its revealed later that even Al Pacino's character thinks this was a terrible plan as it wouldn't work so therefore its just best to get rid of Brian and pretend like nothing happened....so there is no plot then?

The second problem of the film is the characters. They are all also completely retarded. Larry Gigli (Affleck) is despicable. He appears to have only been "thugging" for a few weeks as he has very little job skills. He's not prepared for the kidnapping/babysitting job as he completely doesn't understand how mentally handicapped people work and he's not evil enough to cut Brian up and send Brian-Bits to his brother. JLO is a verbally staunch lesbian that talks about how dumb weiners are but than later caves due to "words" said by Gigli. She is also completely not prepared for this assignment. Lewis appears to be the real idiot of the whole movie. He seems to be new to the mafia business. He's only got two employees (Gigli and JLO) and he doesn't know them at all so the whole thing is new. Plus he isn't working with Al Pacino so he appears to be a bad guy freelancer. He's probably getting jobs off Odesk of E-Lance. Al Pacino is also dumb as he has no actual talent working for him because he would otherwise just whack freelancing Gigli, JLO, Lewis and Brian and then come up with an actual plan.

Lastly, the writing is atrociously bad. Gigli and JLO talk at length about genitals in a philosophical debate and at other times have private parts poetry. Christopher Walken shows up for one scene and just rambles about nothing. JLO hides her real name for the majority of the film for absolutely no reason. At another point, JLO has a stalker girlfriend show up that makes absolutely no sense.

Despite all of this, the film is NOT worthy of being number #71 on IMDB's Bottom 100. The user rating is a 2.3. I say to all again....watch more bad movies. This is not good but there is a certain level of charm to it. It's easily riffable, moves very fast for a 2 hour film and at no point are you ever bored. If you think of the film about a city in Southern California that is populated by unfathomable idiots who are inept at life then it is a very good portrayal of this idiot-town. There is very little technically wrong with the film. It's just a terrible story with terribly dumb characters. But there's lots of very memorable moments ("Suck-my-dick-dot-com", "I would do you big time" and "Turkey Time, Gobble, Gobble" for example) and we all liked it and recommend it.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:0-star
Cheesy effects:0-star
Horrendous acting:4-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:3-star
Ridiculous stunts:0-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:3-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 4-star
Bad Movie Quality:6-star

Prelude to Catwoman
Prelude to Gigli

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Friday, 24 May 2019

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