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Baby Geniuses

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We all love babies right? Now what if we replaced babies with 6 year old kids with stunted growth and pasted their heads onto the bodies of little people? No? How about some CGI lip-syncing so they can talk? No? Ok, well how about stuffing a child actor into a bin of soiled undies? Yes, please.

So Baby Geniuses and it's followup are two of the lowest rated movies that have ever existed, despite the overwhelming amount of fake 10/10 reviews on IMDB, it still was a box-office smash. Why? Because people love babies! Babies can do no wrong! Even when they are covered in dookie, murdering bums, imitating John Travolta and keeping the secrets of life to themselves out of selfish dickery!

I'm not really sure if people who went to this for love of babies actually paid attention to what these awful children are actually up to.

On the other side of the coin, Kathleen Turner and Christopher Lloyd are evil because we're told their evil even though their actions and motivations are parallels of our "hero adults" Kim Cattrell and Peter MacNicol which only reveals more about these horrific little baby monsters.

While, we can't in good faith say that Baby Geniuses is a do for fans of crappy films, it's so close to being one of the greatest bad movies ever if only it could have stuck with babies doing karate and diving into dumpsters, but sadly tries to put the good-feelers into it's clearly moronic intended audience. Do or don't, what the hell do we care. Our souls have been eroded by dancing babies.

Individual Ratings:

Over the top action:1-star
Cheesy effects:2-star
Horrendous acting:3-star
Laugh-out-loud-ability:2-star
Ridiculous stunts:1-star
Gratuitous nudity:0-star
Memorable one-liners:2-star
Nonsensical Plot:4-star

Riffability:4-star

Overall Ratings:

Good Movie Quality: 3-star
Bad Movie Quality:5-star

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Tuesday, 19 November 2019

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