This episode of the famed SM show, we put on our best disguises, pull out our tree-climbing ropes, and get ready to assassinate one of Cannon's most ridiculous films brought to the big screen. Like a ninja this film is disguised as a ninja film but it's 100% banana business. Plus the whole thing is free on YouTube! Thanks Paramount Vault!
Sam Firstenberg is always first, when it comes to ninjas, or movies about ninjas, or movies that are supposed to have ninjas in them but really only have ninjas in the title and then the movie contains oddly dressed villains or heroes appearing as what the good people at Cannon Films would like us to believe are ninjas. Ninja III takes it’s first departure from reality by adding the number 3 to its name and trying to convince us, the savvy audience, that this is the final installment of a trilogy and not just the third ninja themed film that cannon put out starring Sho Kosugi. Firstenberg had previously directed Revenge of the Ninja, which should have been called Revisiting of the Last Ninja Script we did With a Kid Added. I went into greater detail on Firstenberg and his seemingly endless ninja/samurai filmography when we previously viewed American Ninja, which was Firstenberg and Golan’s righting of Cannons ninja ship that becomes lost at sea due to this film. So go back and listen to the prelude from American Ninja if you want to hear about it because I have new ground to cover, but not bodies to cover, because one of them is already covered – in hair.
Jordan Bennet according to his self-written bio is a man of indeterminable talent. A writer, director, actor, singer and song writer, he is, more than anything, a man covered in hair. So much hair that it doesn’t matter that he seems to do all of those other things mostly well enough. He could sing like Sinatra and you wouldn’t notice anything but the body hair. He’s had to indefinitely cancel all shows in Montana, Minnesota and most of Canada as every time he books a performance in any of those locales he is trained and tagged right off the plane because the local game wardens think he is Sasquatch. His website is worth a visit and he seems to have learned that long sleeve shirts and suits are his best friend.
Lucinda Dickey was cast in this film as she had starred in the well-known Firstenberg and Cannon film Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo. She was also in Breakin’, which somehow was also made in 1984. So 3 of the 6 films she was in, including this one were made in 1984. She should have known when she burned so brightly that she would burn out fast. Her career could have also been shortened by hair poisoning brought on by Jordan Bennet.
KAEOF: The sexiest V8 beverage ever, Earl W. Smith and whether or not James Hong gets a handful.