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Prelude to Flash Gordon

Prelude to Flash Gordon
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Presented by The 1980 Hawkman Rocket Cycle. Never fly blind through victory again!

Jackie gets us ready for one of the most popular bad movies of all time as Sam J Jones hits us in the face with his metaphorical football. Get pumped for Freddie Mercury (God rest his soul) and the rest of Queen, Max Von Sydow, Timothy Dalton, and sweeeeeettt costumes! Flash! AAAAWWWWW.

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

Movie NameSummaryIMDBNetflixAmazonJustinJackieSamTotal

After Midnight

Horror anthology about a college professor (Zada) teaching a course called "The Psychology of Fear". He brings his students (including psychic McWhirter) to his home, one dark and stormy night to tell scary stories. The first involves a young couple whose car breaks down by an old, abandoned house. The second has four trendy teenage girls getting lost in a bad part of town, and chased by a pack of vicious dogs. Last, we have Helgenberger confronting a stalker at the answering service where she works the night shift.

Normally, we like anthology movies as they are usually silly and don't take themselves too seriously. This is not one of those types. Sam and Justin did not enjoy it in the least. Jackie loses her mind and likes this film.

IMDB Page

Not Available

After Midnight No Yes No 1/3
 

XXX - State of the Union

Darius Stone, a new agent in the XXX program, is sent to Washington, DC to defuse a power struggle amongst national leaders.

If you're like anybody else and want Ice Cube to just stick with crappy family movies, you'll want to avoid this crapper. Ice Cube will suck out your will-power to continue living.

IMDB Page

Watch Instantly

XXX: State Of The Union No No No 0/3
 

Escape from New York

In 1997, when the US President crashes into Manhattan, now a giant max. security prison, a convicted bank robber is sent in for a rescue.

A cast of thousands plus John Carpenter. I can see alot of boos about this being on the list, but it is a stinker. Bullets never run out and cars explode perfectly in half. Slow paced and dark (not in theme, literally dark)

IMDB Page Not Available Escape from New York [HD] Go either way No Yes 1/2
 

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?

Jerry falls in love with a stripper he meets at a carnival. Little does he know that she is the sister of a gypsy fortune teller whose predictions he had scoffed at earlier. The gypsy turns him into a zombie and he goes on a killing spree.

Jackie and Justin cheat and watch this via MST3K, which is the only way you should do this, unless you are trying to complete the tour of worse movies made. However, it is NOT near as bad as Plan Nine From Outer Space and Monster-a-go-go.

IMDB Page Watch Now
MST3K Version, FYI
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies No No Didn't Watch It 0/2
 

Stinker News

  • There will be no more Hellboy movies. Guillermo del Toro say's no way, Jose. Read the full article
  • Sharknado 2: The Second One trailer is out. Stars Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, Vivica A. Fox, and Mark McGrath. Airs on SciFi, July 30th, 2014. We'll be throwing a party.
  • Charlie Sheen got drunk and walked through the Taco Bell Drive Through. Keep up the good work, Chaz!

We then talk about the enormous, gigantic, colossal turd that is the new Godzilla. Mostly we just talk about Elizabeth Olson and whether she's a bigger deal then her sisters. Apparently, Lance Armstrong wanted to bone one of them. Is Godzilla worse than Armageddon?

Stinker Thinkers

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Sam's Boring Bullshit

Flash Gordon - directed by Mike Hodges from Get Carter, Pulp, and Terminal Man. Some solid movies. Why did they put him in charge of Flash Gordon? Totally kills his career. He was also the 8th director chosen for this film.  He then goes on to do Morons from Outer Space, and A Prayer for the Dying which Sam saves are classic stinkers.

Dino De Laurentiis produced this movie, which should give you an idea of why it is so bad. He circled through directors including one  or La Dolce Vita and  which are fantastic films.

 Sam J. Jones started out by getting his wiener out in Playgirl. Supposedly, Dino's mother-in-law was watching the Dating Game when she saw Sam J. Jones on it, told Dino that he needed to be in one of his movies (sounds like the classic old-lady-in-a-moo-moo maneuver) and Dino thought what the hell.

Kurt Russell turned down the role of Flash Gordon because he thought it was silly.

 Melody Anderson went on to star as Barbara Chance who was the police officer who was fired for being in Playboy in Office Playmate.

George Lucas really wanted to make a Flash Gordon movie but Dino owned the rights. So instead we got Star Wars.  Thanks Dino!

Flash Gordon
Never Too Young to Die

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Monday, 21 October 2019

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