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Prelude to Firewalker

Prelude to Firewalker
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Charles Norris returns again for his 3rd appearance on the show in a teamup with awful acting staple, Louis Gossett, Jr. in Firewalker. A film that appears to be a complete knockoff of Indiana Jones or Romancing the Stone or take your pick. Can Chuck Norris bring the comedy that he's so well known for? Or will this be as laughable as toothpaste?

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Streaming Do's and Don'ts - The Week of Pauls

Wild Card - Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor

  • Allan Quartermaine - King Solomon's Mines
  • Indiana Jones - Uh...duh
  • Jack T. Colton - Romancing the Stone

About Firewalker - Movie Information

Sam's Boring Bullshit

Firewalker, since it was released, has experienced continuing universal negative reception. It has a goose egg on rotten tomatoes. I guess all those nay-sayers can picket outside the box office as this thing apparently made $11 million. As it is a Cannon film there is really know way to tell how much it cost but, I am comfortable in assuming it was less than half of the most likely misreported gross.

Director J. Lee Thompson was at one point nominated for the Academy Award for his direction of The Guns of Navarone. He would also at various points in his career be nominated for the BAFTA and the Palme d'Or. A veteran of over 40 feature films, including the original Cape Fear, he somehow spends the last 6 years of his career and life directing Cannon movies. These turds may have actually killed the man. All I can figure from looking at the timeline is that he really liked working with Bronson, which at a certain point lands you in the hands of Yoram and Meneham. Of the 9 films he directed for Cannon, only 3 are without Bronson. Of the remainder two are Indiana Jones rip offs, the other being King Soloman's Mines.

Louis Gosset Jr. is making his debut to the Stinker Studios. He'll be back for Iron Eagle, when ever anyone decides to pull the trigger on that trouser snake. Iron Eagle isn't even a boner that tries to stab you in the eyes, it is like a bulbous, flaccid penis that just wants to rest in front of you. Gosset chased his Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor in An Officer and a Gentleman with a Golden Raspberry nomination for his work in Jaws 3D. It seems like it was all down hill from there with the exception of the sleeper, The Principal. Most recently he was in The Dependables, which is the Expendables, only made of a team of grandparents.

ManimalMelody Anderson has found her way home. It has been so long since Flash Gordon but she's back. I don't know if we mentioned that she was also in the Jeff's living room hit Dead and Buried when she was last here. We also mustn't forget that she was the star of the short lived NBC series Manimal. I am mostly mentioning Manimal because of it's epic fail promotional image that is Anderson next to star, and guy who should have taken a stage name, Simon MacCorkindale. MacCorkindale is holding a falcon but Melody Anderson's crazy hair is hiding the falconer glove, so the promotional image for the show is a stuffy guy next to a crazy lady with a large bird on her head. You think more people would have watched.

KAEOF: Will Sampson of One Flew over the Cuckoos Nest, Sonny Landham of Predator and 48 Hours fame. And it wouldn't be an Indy rip off without John Rhys Davies.

Firewalker
Commando

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Monday, 09 December 2019

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