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2015 SMABFA Governor's Breakfast

2015 SMABFA Governor's Breakfast

Reporting from the Stinker Madness Achievement in Bad Film-making Awards Governor's Breakfast, held annually the Thursday prior to the Official Awards broadcast. This annual event, an adjunct to the auspicious and globally recognized SMABFAs, was staged this year at the prestigious 2.5 Star Riverside Hotel by the luxurious Boise River.

The black-tie acceptable event is held to recognize a wide variety of cinematic accomplishments from the previous year. Various Scientific & Technical Achievement awards were handed out in a range of disciplines, determined by the SMABFA Board of Regentsories inside the nearly filled-to-capacity event space/buffet room.

The SMABFA Awards present honors to the best and worst in crummy films each year with highest regards to the prestigious "Best Bad Movie" where top honors are given to the film that entertains while being incredibly stupid. Others are awarded to Worst Bad Actor for doing such a terrible job that throwing remotes through TVs is common behavior.

While these awards didn't quite make it into the official SMABFA show, they are no less important. These awards are for the rest of those in film that deserve a little damn credit for what they did (or didn't do) in 2015. Congrats to the winners and condolences to the everyone.

Nominees and winners of the Stinker Madness Achievement in Bad Film-making Awards Governor's Breakfast:

Chairman's Certificates of Merit:

  • Worst Opening Weekend - 10/23 - Jem And The Holograms, Rock The Casbah, The Last Witch Hunter, Paranormal Activity
  • Anemia Award for Ironic Merit: Protesters of The Green Inferno
  • Map of the Stars Honorarium: San Andreas with 2 weeks of shooting in CA

THE STAN LEE COMMEMORATIVE PLAQUE

Honoring the best surprise cameo appearance in film

  • Daniel Craig as Storm Trooper JB007 - Force Awakens
  • Mark Hamill - The Kingsmen
  • Channing Tatum - The Hateful Eight
  • Bill Hader & Ben Schwartz (Jean-Ralphio, Parks & Rec) helped lend voice of BB-8 - Force Awakens
  • WINNER Jimmy Buffet, The Margarita Savior - Jurassic World

Jimmy Buffett - Jurassic World

THE BIG-GULP TROPHY (Sponsored by 7-11 stores)

Honoring the film that was the most over-sized, bloated, and content-free production

  • Tomorrowland 190m
  • Terminator: Genysis 155m
  • The Seventh Son 95m
  • The Last Witch Hunter 90m
  • WINNER: San Andreas 110m

THE MICHAEL BAY COMMENDATION FOR SCRIPT WRITING

Honoring the film with the most empty screenplay, resembling Transformers writing

  • San Andreas
  • Pixels
  • Entourage
  • Point Break
  • WINNER: Jem & The Holograms

TOMMY WISEAU ALUMINUM MICROPHONE

Honoring the most risible dialogue in cinema last year

  • 50 Shades of Grey - "Because I'm fifty shades of fucked up, Anastasia." -- Christian Grey
  • Entourage - "It's like when a girl asks if you want to bang her hot sister. Of course you say 'no' but neither of you really believes you mean it, though." -- Johnny Drama
  • Jem and The Holograms - You're Internet famous. That's like the second best thing to being actually famous."  -- Kimber
  • Fantastic Four - "I need a heat-resistant workshop, and a big-ass sunroof!" -- Johnny Storm
  • Mortdecai - "I had no idea I was so deep in Her Majesty's hole!" -- Mortdecai
  • WINNER: Jupiter Ascending
    CAINE WISE:  "You are royalty now. I'm a splice, you don't understand what that means. I have more in common with a dog than I have with you."
    JUPITER JONES: "I love dogs, I've always loved dogs."

TALENT AGENCY AWARD OF NON-MERIT - THE ARI FLEICHER MEDAL

Honoring the performer misled into the most appearances in bad movies

  • Katherine Heigl - Jenny's Wedding; Home Sweet Hell
  • Liam Neeson -Taken 3;
  • Robert DiNiro - The Intern; Heist
  • Kevin Hart -The Wedding Ringer; Get Hard
  • WINNER: Ryan Guzman - The Boy Next Door; Jem And The Holograms; (TV) Heroes Reborn (cancelled)

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THE AMITYVILLE HONOR

Awarded for the worst horror film

  • The Lazurus Effect
  • Poltergeist
  • Green Inferno
  • The Loft
  • WINNER - The Gallows

THE DREW BARRYMORE CITATION

Awarded for the worst family film

  • Strange Magic
  • Home
  • Underdogs
  • Pan
  • WINNER: Alvin And the Chipmunks: The Road Chip

THE BO DEREK ENDOWMENT

For valorous achievement while unadorned on camera

  • Dakota Johnson, various humiliations - 50 Shades of Grey
  • Alicia Vikander, as a dancing robot - Ex Machina
  • Zombie strippers - The Scout's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse
  • WINNER: Kristin Wiig, walking through a casino - Welcome To Me

2015 SMABFA Awards
Jem and the Holograms

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Tuesday, 19 November 2019

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