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Stinker Madness is a podcast that comes out on a twice a week basis and is all about bad and cult movies. We try to dig deep into the vaults and find the best of the best in b-movies, cult classics, truly bad movies and hidden-gems. We also review streaming movies from Netflix and Amazon, have weekly trivia and general nonsense throughout. NOT FOR ...THE KIDDIES! More

Dreamer

Dreamer
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Here's a fun concept - take something as boring to watch as bowling and then make a movie that is just as boring about said boring thing. You've then got a very accurate representation of something super boring. Wow. Thanks a lot bowling movie.

Dreamer is arguably the most boring movie ever made. There's levels of bad that are definitely worse as far as film-making. See Manos, Monster-a-Go-Go, Sssssss, CHOMPS and so forth come to mind. The good thing about all those films is that there's at least something to either hate, scratch your head over, or just be angry about. This causes no emotions on any level. Its the least interesting film we've ever seen. Ever. No question.

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Prelude to Dreamer

Prelude to Dreamer

Splash

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In this week's podcast spectacular of majesty, we've dug into the vaults and pulled out a brown stain in sports film-making history from 1979. It's the tale of the super exciting world of bowling. What? You didn't know bowling could be exciting? Well put on your slippery shoes and grab your ball bag because we didn't either!

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Dante's Peak

Dante's Peak
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Our second of back to back "stupid volcano movies from 1997" is the possibly the least disastery of any disaster movies ever created. Spoiler alert - body count is 5 and a tiny hick town gets cleared off the map. It's fine since they were just a bunch of smug buttholes anyways.

So if Volcano should have been named "Lava; Not Volcano Really", then Dante's Peak should have been called "Volcano; No Lava Really". It's a perfect mirror in opposite land. The volcano is HUGE but has very little lava. In fact the only thing that lava kills in this film is some truck tires. Very strange.

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Prelude to Dante's Peak

Prelude to Dante's Peak
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Hey remember that OTHER volcano movie from 1997? Well its here on Stinker Madness to finally help us answer that age old question: which 1997 volcano movie is the most stupid? Dante's Peak stars Pierce Brosnan and Linda Hamilton.

Roman's Do's and Don'ts

The Wild Card - The Great Superpower Debate

Extreme resistance to extreme heat but only from above - 3/10 stars

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Volcano

Volcano
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Tommy and Anne face off against some hot magma ("What's Magma?") in the first of two 1997 volcano movies. This one features a lead character who should be fired and never hired for his job, a slew of disaster movie cliches (Dog never dies, anyone?) and Stan, the Man-Chucking Man in possibly the stupidest movie we've ever seen on this show.

Let's start off by declaring how incredibly dumb this movie is. Every single bit of "science" is telegraphed to the audience because "Hey! They're stupid!" such as the definition of tectonic activity, gravity and magma. The volcano has a mind of its own and has Tommy Lee Jones sense meaning if Tommy is coming its sneaky and hides from him. The government officials of LA have no clue how things should work and it seems Tommy's Roark is the mayor as everyone calls him or reports to him daily even before the eruption. The Chief of Police even calls to obligatorily yell at someone, even if its completely unrelated to Emergency Management of which Roark is the director of. I can in no way define how stupid this movie is because in order to define something you must possess some semblance of intelligence. That would be a slap in the face of this movies lack thereof.

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Prelude to Volcano

Prelude to Volcano
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Surprise! Volcano! Tommy Lee Jones comes in to ask what magma is and see if his volcano movie of 1997 can be the dumber of the year. We all know its stupid, but how stupid can it be?

Roman's Do's and Don'ts

  • Lust for Freedom (1987) - YouTube
  • Furious (1984) - IMDB
  • The Zero Boys (1986) - IMDB

Wild Card - The Great Superpower Debate

  • Electro-magnetic Telekinesis - 3.5 stars

About Volcano - Movie Information

Sam's Boring Bullshit

As evidenced by the classic 1997 film Volcano, there are some disaster management professionals out there who do not know what magma is, I am then to infer that there are possibly people out there, disaster management professionals or otherwise, who don't know what volcanoes are. I will explain this phenomenon as unscientifically as possible; a volcano is a giant dirt cone that shoots fire sauce out the top, not the good kind of fire sauce either. You put this stuff on your taco and it becomes el taco de la muerte. 

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License to Drive

License to Drive
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The Corey's team up to help Haim get his drivers license and bang a girl. Along the way, they go on a slew of crimes mostly involving reckless endangerment but also sexual assault and child pornography in a showcase of how horrible the 80's were. Not even Heather Graham and Carol Kane can save this.

This film is a pukefest of 80's trends, stupidity, and selfishness. It's a perfect capsule of something that is horrible. So yes, it captures the essence of the decade but the decade sucks and so does this film. Sorry lovers of Aquanet. 

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Prelude to License to Drive

Prelude to License to Drive
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The "Coreys" make their official first appearance on the show with the 80's cheesefest about teenagers getting driver's licenses. This sounds like a recipe for disaster as the 80's sucked, teenagers suck and drivers training sucks the worst! At least Heather Graham is easy on the eye-balls.

Streaming Roman Do's and Don'ts

  • Metamorphosis: The Alien Factor (1990) - IMDB
  • Hired to Kill (1990) - IMDB
  • Steele Justice (1987) - IMDB

Wild Card - The Great Superpower Debate

Spit! The Acne Cure - 7 out of 10

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Rambo III

Rambo III
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John Rambo comes to us in the third installment of the First Blood/Rambo franchise in the pinnacle of 80's over the top action. It's fun, it's stupid, its violent, and ridiculous. But in the year 2016 and how much we don't really care for ethnic cleansing, it's also a little offensive.

If Rambo had been left in Afghanistan for about 3 months, the world certainly would be a different place than it is today and it's anybody's guess whether it would be better or worse. It could go either way, because sure he kicks the Russkies asses but he also teams up with the Mujahideen and I'm not sure that he didn't honestly believe they were worth fighting with. At no point does it seem anyone questioned the motives of the Mujahideen during filmmaking. They were fighting the Russians so I guess that must mean they are the good guys. It wouldn't take much longer before we learned that they were genocidal assholes. Ooo, poor taste in pals, John.

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Prelude to Rambo III

Prelude to Rambo III
John Rambo vs John Rambo
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Carolco decides its destiny by spending too much on a ridiculous film that involves a man causes fire and bullets to steer clear. It's the Stallord's one jillionth appearance on the show and we haven't even gotten to Tango & Cash, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot or Cliffhanger!

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

The Wild Card - Who would win in a knife fight?

John Rambo (First Blood) vs John Rambo (First Blood: Part 2)

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Troll 2

Troll 2
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Troll 2 has been widely hailed as one of the best bad movies ever made what with its documentary called "Best Worst Movie" and also topping the IMDB Bottom 100. Sometimes though a film can be overpraised in its horrendousness. Will Troll 2 stand up to the critical analysis that has debunked such films as Gigli and Mommie Dearest?

The short answer? No. No this movie is one of the worst ever made.

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Justin
Jackie and I have seen it, Sam has not who is the primary remarker that you mention. However, remember that documentaries statemen... Read More
Friday, 15 July 2016 21:33
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Prelude to Troll 2

Prelude to Troll 2
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Finally, we hit one of the most notorious bad movies of all time. At one point, Troll 2 was the #1 lowest rated movie on IMDB.com until people realized it's freaking awesome. Praised by many and loved by tons, it's a treasure of a film and we can't wait to dive into it.

Listener Feedback

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Mommie Dearest

Mommie Dearest
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In 1981, Faye Dunaway took the role of Joan Crawford and then thought she was on a one way track to Oscar Town. Instead, her completely unbelievable performance bought her a bus ticket to Razzieville. We take on this cult classic and try to determine the ultimate question of "Is it really that bad or good?"

So there's truly only one thing to talk about regarding this film. It's Faye Dunaway's performance. So much has been said about this role and her completely ridiculous take on being an insane person. You can't take her seriously. The character is doing completely horrible things that bear no semblance to anything a rational person would do but Faye's take on it is outlandish. It's impossible and by far the most interesting part of the whole damn thing. Unfortunately, her freak outs are too few and far between.

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Prelude to Mommie Dearest

Prelude to Mommie Dearest
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One of the most prolific bad movies of all time finally lands on the show with Jackie's choice in the Faye Dunaway "acted" biography adaptation of Mommie Dearest. It's the story of Joan Crawford and her very progressive and seemingly quite fair treatment of stolen baby, Christina. So many Razzie wins but will it hold up to the Stinker Madness treatment?

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

The Wild Card - The Great Superpower Debate

Fart force fields - 4 out of 10 stars

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Independence Day: Resurgence

Independence Day: Resurgence
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ID4:2 comes to a Bad Movie Field Trip on the show this week. Will it be stupid fun enough to get into that elusive Best Bad Movie category for the 2016 SMABFAs? Can it at least be better than that damn Jupiter Ascending?

Well the critics aren't happy. They call it bloated, lazy, and tedious. Well we have good things to say and bad things to say but these words do not come into the fray at all. 

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The Last Dragon

The Last Dragon
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Sam brings us the least karate "karate" movie to ever exist with martial arts being replaced by romance, music, dancing, neon, sassy children, and pizza. While this may sound like something you want to put your head through a wall for, The Last Dragon is truly awesome.

The Last Dragon is the tale of a kung fu obsessed teenager who is the son of a pizza restaurateur on a journey to be the best at kung fu. His adventures are endangered by The Shogun of Harlem, Sho Nuff and Arkadian, who wants to use his love interest to further his own fortune. Well that seems sorta straight-laced but this film is one of the silliest things we've done.

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Justin
Good catch. Apologies to Herr Starr.
Wednesday, 29 June 2016 20:35
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Prelude to The Last Dragon

Prelude to The Last Dragon
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This week on the podcast Sam brings in a movie that made him quite angry as a child but then grew to love it's non-kung-fu ways. It's 1985's The Last Dragon in which a "kung fu" guy tries to achieve something called "The Glow".

Listener Feedback

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Deadliest Prey

Deadliest Prey
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Danton returns to do his thing and his thing is killing so many people in ridiculous ways. This time he gets kidnapped by Colonel Hogan for the sake of a "never hunt a man" competition, faces off against Thorton, receives an assist from an old military buddy, has his wife kidnapped by a sexretary and does a fist pump in the air. Sound familiar?

If you had told us that Deadliest Prey is just a remake of Deadly Prey without any of a new story we would have been deeply disappointed. It shouldn't work. But somehow Deadliest Prey does work. There's no better way they could have done it. It's so much fun and has so much fan service that works great that we absolutely loved it. 

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Prelude to Deadliest Prey

Prelude to Deadliest Prey
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Mike Danton is back on the show and we can't be excited enough. Deadliest Prey is the 28 years later sequel to Hall of Fame movie, Deadly Prey and we can't wait to see how David and Ted Prior follow up one of the greatest bad movies of all time.

Be sure to revisit our Deadly Prey episode and for god sakes, watch the movie.

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976-EVIL 2

976-EVIL 2
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Jim Wynorski makes his Stinker Madness debut with 1991's tale of a spooky phone hotline that gives you the confidence to mow on Bridgette Neilsen's box and gain super-powers so that you can stock a lady with a tall butt.

We're pretty confused on what this movie is about. Our best theory is that the dean of a community college has an obsession with his ex-office assistant. He's nuts and thinks that a 1-900 horoscope number will give him the powers to stalk her properly. So he somehow meets up with the proprietor of a spooky stuff supply store who if you give her cunnilingus you will be given the powers of Doctor Strange. Meanwhile, a guy who only has leather motorcycle gear to wear and who does not shower ever, thinks that the 1-900 number is somehow involved but they are just a red herring and are just a "phone company" with a really lame business model and a fairly bored CEO.

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