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Stinker Madness is a podcast that comes out on a twice a week basis and is all about bad and cult movies. We try to dig deep into the vaults and find the best of the best in b-movies, cult classics, truly bad movies and hidden-gems. We also review streaming movies from Netflix and Amazon, have weekly trivia and general nonsense throughout. NOT FOR ...THE KIDDIES! More

Prelude to 88 Minutes

Prelude to 88 Minutes
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A fan request comes in this week for some Pacino so we attempt to tackle the 2007 trainwreck about a guy who only has 88 Minutes to solve a murder....his own. Oh my gosh what an amazingly original concept, he said sarcastically. But as fans of terrible acting, we think this has potential.

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

The Wild Card - Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor - the Pacino edition

  • Michael Coreleone - The Godfather series
  • Lt. Col. Frank Slade - Scent of a Woman
  • The Devil - The Devil's Advocate
  • any other role ever....

About American Kickboxer 2 - Movie Information

Sam's Boring Bullshit

This is another attempt to bottle suspense by presenting the story in “real time”. Other valiant attempts at this were the not wonderful films, Nick of Time with Jon Depp and Phone Booth with Colin Farrell. I just looked over the fairly short list of real time films and it looks like they all stink. I am not sure about Die Hard for two reasons, one I feel like there is some forward cutting at the end and two, I don’t know if I actually like Die Hard. For some reason Run Lola Run is on this list and thought the vignettes are presented mostly in real time the fact that there are three vignettes dealing with probability and possibly parallel time lines would in my eyes disqualify it from being in “real time”. Shame on you, who ever miscategorized that film.

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Blood Freak

Blood Freak
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This episode of the podcast centers around the classic Thanksgiving film from 1972, Blood Freak. Its that old tale of a man who smokes a little pot, eats an entire turkey and those goes on a tryptophan fueled and murderous rampage by becoming a freaking turkey. Yep. That's it.

Blood Freak is freaking insane and one of the worst movies ever made. The production values are incredibly poor with poor lighting, out of focus shots, terrible set design and horrible acting. It's right in line with films like Eegah!, Monster A Go-Go, The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies, or anything starring Tor Johnson. How this managed to get past the MST3K crew is a mystery deeper than where the hell is Amelia Earhardt.

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Prelude to Blood Freak

Prelude to Blood Freak
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In early preparation for Thanksgiving, Jackie gets a headstart with pulling the trigger on a turkey of a movie from 1972, 3 weeks early. But that's OK because it's a spooky tale about a motorcycle guy who smokes some pot and gets turned into a murderous turkey. Just like your family.

Special Segment - Films we've seen the most in a given period of time

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Order of the Black Eagle

Order of the Black Eagle
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Jackie and Justin as ninjas
Stinker Madness Halloween Punkins
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I'm also going to link to the full movie on YouTube I just found but it may not be there for long: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4S6VBdM7yA

Duncan Jax and his faithful companion, Boon are back to take down a group of Nazis living in South America from accomplishing their dubious evil plans, mostly having a functioning laser and unfreezing their cryogenic leader, Ze Furor. Yes that one.

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Prelude to The Order of the Black Eagle

Prelude to The Order of the Black Eagle
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I'm also going to link to the full movie on YouTube I just found but it may not be there for long: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4S6VBdM7yA

This week on the podcast Sam follows up the first Duncan Jax movie with what may or may not be the sequel to Unmasking the Idol. This time Duncan's going to take down a bunch of Nazis who happen to have a little special guest on their hands.

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Condorman

Condorman
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Disney bungles a live-action version of a cartoon with the least believable action star that has ever delved into the spy/superhero game. But add one of the raddest car chases, laser turret boats, rocket powered zip lines, and the worst costume you've ever seen and you've got one of the best early 80's turds to ever grace the screen. Wahoo!

The movie follows Woody who is the graphic artist behind the Condorman comic book frachise. Woody foolishly stumbles into a Soviet defection mission for the CIA and must employ the skills of his creation to help the beautiful and mysterious Natalia escape from the villainous Krakov and his right hand man, Morovitch and his team of skilled killers. You can use that if you'd like IMDB.

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Prelude to Condorman

Prelude to Condorman
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Back in 1981, Disney tried to gift the world with a live-action version of a comic-book character, and failed miserably. But their mistake is our great reward as Condorman sweeps through the show. We are giddy with excitement.

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

  • Death Wish II - EPIX
  • Death Wish III - TUBITV
  • Troll - EPIX and Prime

The Wild Card - The Great Superpower Debate

Emo-Man - You gain powers based on your emotional state, ie angry you get hulky, peaceful you get zenlike, sad you can shoot water out your eyes, horny you get smelly genitals....

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American Ninja 2: The Confrontation

American Ninja 2: The Confrontation
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Michael J. Dudikoff and Steve James are back from American Ninja and this time the volume of ninja gets ramped up to ludicrous levels. How do you get so many ninja? Well you just build an evil clone army of them so you can be a drug kingpin. What? Yep.

In another instance of Golan and Globus having very little understanding of the ninja, we also have very little understanding of their understanding. When you can clone ninja, what do you do with the ninja you've cloned? Well you become the kingpin of drugs. So why do you need ninja? Are they couriers? Are they drug dealers? Are they guards? Why not just have guys with guns? And why are your cloned ninja so inept? The plot is quite dumb.

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Prelude to American Ninja 2: The Confrontation

Prelude to American Ninja 2: The Confrontation
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It's time to finish off our Ninja-threepeat with a follow up to our American Ninja episode in which Michael Dudikoff dons the role of Pvt. Joe Armstrong, teams up with Curtis Jackson and fights hordes and hordes of random ninja.

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

Wild Card - Who'd win in a Knife Fight?

  • Hillary Clinton vs Donald Trump

About American Kickboxer 2 - Movie Information

Sam's Boring Bullshit

Well it looks like Sam Firstenberg moved in to your house, as evidenced by all of these ninja movies. Well that, the toilet’s full and the cat’s pregnant. Week three of ninja business presents us with another film which most likely knows nothing about ninjas. If it did Michael Dudikoff wouldn’t be playing one. It will be difficult for American Ninja 2: The Confrontation to live up to the previous not knowing anything about ninja standards set by Ninja 3: The Domination, in which a ninja is a crazy person/ghost who wants nothing more than to kill everyone everywhere, and Unmasking the Idol, wherein a ninja is a middle aged man who has bedroom eyes and a chain mail Eyes Wide Shut costume. Ian Hunter was actually in the original cut of Eyes Wide Shut but he was covered by digital furniture as the producers found his apparel and demeanor obscene. Can this possibly know less about ninjas then the previous ninja movies? Let’s find out together.

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Unmasking the Idol

Unmasking the Idol
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Worth Keeter's first Duncan Jax film is one of the film-world's must undiscovered gems. It's a glorious romp of all things awesome. If you like any fun film ever, then Unmasking the Idol is right up your alley. It's banana's in the best manner.

Somehow Unmasking the Idol has gone under the radar since its debut 30 years ago. Only 88 user ratings exist on IMDB (including the rating we gave). Host of Stinker Madness, Justin, has it as his 10th favorite bad movie of all time. That is enough right there to have this movie have at least 100 user ratings on IMDB.

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Prelude to Unmasking the Idol

Prelude to Unmasking the Idol
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A little known film from 1986 that features untold amounts of ninjas, treasure, espionage, ninjas, 3-wheeler's, a baboon, a bad-ass Ford Ranger, and so many balloons comes to the show. This is one movie you won't want to miss.

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

The Wild Card - Who Wins in a Knife Fight

  • Boon (Unmasking the Idol) vs. Clyde (Every Which Way But Loose)

About Unmasking the Idol (1986) - Movie Information

Sam's Boring Bullshit

The only thing you need to know is that Duncan Jax is the world’s most dangerous ninja, I guess. It is a rare occasion when a film applies a lower functional knowledge of ninjas than the Cannon Films library, but a rare occasion this is. Red rare, like the red of a baboon’s butt. If you like the red of a baboon’s but then you won’t be disappointed by this film. Yes that’s right there is a baboon in this movie. 

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Ninja III: The Domination

Ninja III: The Domination
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A deceased magical ninja with questionable motives possesses a telephone line working/aerobics instructor and gets her to revengify a bunch of cops who blew the ninja away (justifiably). Meanwhile, lasers, gymnastics, so much magic, and awful effects abound. Plus back hair and V8!

Ninja III may be the worst movie Cannon ever made. We're talking about Cannon here remember. This thing stinks so bad. The story is incredibly dumb/nonexistant, the action is completely ridiculous, the acting is awful, the shots are poorly staged, the effects are horrendous, dialogue is unbelievable and the complete lack of understanding life/people/reality is abundant. With that in mind, it adds up for so much fun. Wow, what a great bad movie.

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Prelude to Ninja III: The Domination

Prelude to Ninja III: The Domination
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This episode of the famed SM show, we put on our best disguises, pull out our tree-climbing ropes, and get ready to assassinate one of Cannon's most ridiculous films brought to the big screen. Like a ninja this film is disguised as a ninja film but it's 100% banana business. Plus the whole thing is free on YouTube! Thanks Paramount Vault!

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Glitter

Glitter
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In 2001, Mariah Carey decided to wreck thousands of lives and destroy Sam's affection for her visual appearance, primarily her face. While "glitter can't overpower the artist" Glitter can't even overpower it's own idiocy, racism, and sexism.

What? Glitter is a period-piece? This takes place in 1983? WTF? Why on Earth does it take place in 1983? The clothes, the cars, the music, the set pieces, the vernacular, NOTHING was done that says "Hey, it's 1983" except a bottom 1/3 graphic. It's screams that it's actually 2001. And 1983 serves absolutely no purpose to the story. None. If there was a bad movie award for poor and unnecessary choices and the subsequent execution of said choice, this would have been that categories Gone With the Wind.

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Prelude to Glitter

Prelude to Glitter
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It's time for Jackie to choose another Razzie winning and highly nominated "musical". In 2001, men in ties decided to crap in our ears and eyes as the allow Mariah Carey to create her own movie about her career (sorta). Get ready for gluch....

Streaming Do's and Don'ts

  • The Curse of Sleeping Beauty - Netflix

Justin's Top 5 80's Action Guys!

5. Kurt Russell - Escape from LA, The Thing, Big Trouble, Tango & Cash
4. Chuck Norris - Delta Force, Firewalker, Invasion USA, Lone Wolf McQuade
3. Jackie Chan - Project A, Meals on Wheels, Police Story, Armour of God
2. Sly Stallone - All Rambos, Rocky IV, Cobra, Tango & Cash
1. Arnold Schwarzenegger - Conan, Commando, Predator, Running Man

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Firewalker

Firewalker
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Chuck Norris, Louis Gosset Jr, and Melody Anderson go on a wild ride through various adventures on the way to get treasure. Along the way the face alligators, sinking cars, rebels, gang-rape village, the Mexican Gestapo, their own visual appearance, and elaborate aboriginal death traps. Sounds ridiculous? It is indeed.

Firewalker is Golan and Globus' take on the very popular and quite good, Romancing the Stone. In fact, it's a veritable carbon copy of the film but with your typical Cannon Films ineptitude. It's writing is completely out of control stupid, the entire plot is irrelevant to itself, characters have strange motivations and are generally unneeded, the acting stinks, the cast possesses zero charm or chemistry, and the action sequences are written by children.

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Prelude to Firewalker

Prelude to Firewalker
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Charles Norris returns again for his 3rd appearance on the show in a teamup with awful acting staple, Louis Gossett, Jr. in Firewalker. A film that appears to be a complete knockoff of Indiana Jones or Romancing the Stone or take your pick. Can Chuck Norris bring the comedy that he's so well known for? Or will this be as laughable as toothpaste?

Listener Feedback

Re: My superpower of electromagnetic telekinesis at a cost:

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Commando

Commando
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Our good movie friend Tucker (If We Made It Podcast) stops by to discuss one of the greatest/stupidest action movies of all time. Be prepared for ridiculous (hilarious) Arnold impressions.

Commando is so iconic and such a staple in "men with guns" movies that it's hard to avoid and impossible to dislike. It's level of over-the-top is unequaled that for the next 15 years in film, every action movie attempts to be Commando but none have come close. It's the model, but at the same time it's SOOOOO stupid.

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Prelude to Commando

Prelude to Commando
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To purge ourselves from the misery of last weeks movie we dowse ourselves in awesomeness and then light ourselves on fire (that was all figurative, in no way do we endorse lighting yourself on fire...unless you're a total tool, then go for it) and let Arnold take the show over it the quintessential action movie of the 1980s (maybe even ever) but still incredibly dumb, Commando.

Fall SMABFA Contenders

  • Ben-Hur - Uh, you know you screwed up here.
  • Nine Lives - Thanks for telling our kids they are stupid and will like anything. Their not and they hated this.
  • The Mechanic: Resurrection - Statham takes a shot at getting that Best Bad Movie title. Possible surprise one here.
  • Rings - So what? Sumara lives in Netflix now? Come on it worked (barely) with VHS but 20 years later is too much later....

The Wild Card - Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor

  • Joan Crawford - Mommie Dearest
  • The Waits Family - Troll 2
  • Mike Roark - Volcano
  • Harry Dalton - Dante's Peak

About Commando (1985) - Movie Information

Sam's Boring Bullshit

Mark L. Lester is making his second, but most likely not last visit, to Stinker Madness from the directors chair. His first film we covered was, of course, Showdown in Little Tokyo. This week's film Commando, is among his most popular, along side the cult classic Class of 1984 and the John Candy vehicle, Armed and Dangerous. Fortunately for us Lester is still turning out stinkers. His most recent effort is 2014's Dragons of Camelot, and it looks like a lot, of bull shit.

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Dreamer

Dreamer
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Here's a fun concept - take something as boring to watch as bowling and then make a movie that is just as boring about said boring thing. You've then got a very accurate representation of something super boring. Wow. Thanks a lot bowling movie.

Dreamer is arguably the most boring movie ever made. There's levels of bad that are definitely worse as far as film-making. See Manos, Monster-a-Go-Go, Sssssss, CHOMPS and so forth come to mind. The good thing about all those films is that there's at least something to either hate, scratch your head over, or just be angry about. This causes no emotions on any level. Its the least interesting film we've ever seen. Ever. No question.

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